Old School Orgy: Yu Neng and Dunman High

Turned out Eric knew way back in secondary that I used to be from his primary school.

Me: I was in E(for excellence and elitism, ha) class from Pri 2 to first month of Pri 4 before I transferred. But you weren't there hor...

Eric: Yeah, I was in E class from Pri 4 onwards.

Me *gravely* : I see. So it's because of me ie my leaving that you got into 4E. What do you think, Weixiang?

Weixiang *solemnly* : I think there's a very high possibility of that being the case.

Eric: ....

Can't see his expression 'coz it was dark and he was driving. But I'm quite sure we were all immensely tickled.

And so settling down in Siglap's Cafe Cartel, post the Esplanade event, Eric, Weixiang and myself embarked on the precarious journey of unraveling our connections with one another and discovering whatever happened to the rest. At the moment, the unlikely trio's having a mini mini class gathering for primary and secondary times.

So who do you keep contact with from the E class? So Tuyi, Xiangrong and a couple names more were tossed out. Tried very hard to name all the people in the class. Talked about being stupid model prefects then (we were all prefects) with powers that we abused and guarding the corridors. Basically, the guys only kept in touch with the guys. Nobody knew what happened to the girls. I only know my Gongshang Primary darlings well enough, not Yu Neng, for we were all too young then.

Then came to the hot topic, that Meihui, Minxiu and myself have been discussing informally lately (quick! set venue and date for next orgy for major debate!). Of the insufferable indignity of being a Dunmanian, even though Meihui will want to contest that, I'm sure.

In a simple note, the three of us agreed Dunman High was all stuffy and hateful, and we would probably go somewhere else to study if time could somehow rewind itself. Reminisced about Kiw, about being part of 2I (which excluded Weixiang) which had Shaun and Weijie (also from the legendary E class, Yu Neng), about how stifling and intellectually impotent the entire environment was.

We were spuriously taught, and never empowered to question, to poke, to challenge, but to accept with grace and gratitude.

It was a good trip down memory lane. We mourn the gradual demise of a fine school and its inevitable degeneration with the need to modernise. Most of all, we wonder why Dunman High fails to see where and why it failed to breed leaders (and still failing spectacularly) when it's so obvious to us.

Then we remembered we were supposed to be effectively bilingual, or in Eric's words which he claimed was coined by Straits, we are 双语奇才 and here we are yakking brilliantly in English even though we have a very traditionally Chinese schooling for 4 years. And acknowledged sadly there haven't been many opportunities to speak our language growing up over the years.

Subsequently, we made a sad attempt to have the entire conversation in Mandarin.

I ended up saying I wanted more water when I couldn't, for the hell of it, remember what a bloody jug is called in Chinese. Hence, I couldn't say, Please pass the jug.

Weixiang related how he was momentarily thrown off when a couple of China students, when attacking a Math question, was arguing about Calculus in Chinese, and he's like I know how to solve but what the hell are they talking about.

We agreed we weren't schooled to speak of useful things and it's virtually impossible to translate an English article to a Chinese one 'cos we don't know the proper equivalent terms.

Sigh.

On the bright side, when we speak Mandarin, it's with a lilting tone and we enunciate impeccably and correctly, better than most people. That's a slight consolation.

You know what I really like to see? A major school reunion of the Dunmanians our batch (1992-1996) to find out how we have been ruined (or rejuvenated if it applies to you) by our experiences there, and how far we have since all travelled. Which I feel is possible. Coz we still keep in touch with quite a lot of the "important" people. Important in the sense we all sorta know one another, one is a friend of this and that, and word can spread easily. So it will be fun to find out where we all are now. I mean, if Eric and Weixiang can have a good time dissing and discussing, imagine a mass orgy! That just so turns me on.

We could also tell Dunman High if we bother, how it's all wrong and how close they come to screwing us up, if they didn't. But that's really secondary.

*on the concert and ruth later.

It's not 反正, It's 因为。

Despite valiant and, the latest being up-to-4-hours-ago from our visit to The Tai-Tai, successful attempts to wean myself away and cut off ties (at least neatening the frays that mislead to nowhere in particular) from someone, I find there's always a reason eventually, to talk, to go out, to do all things unhealthy but oh-so-easily.

*

Because I'm cute and popular, just before I stepped out of the office today, someone gave me 4 tickets to Hits of 1904: Mahler's Seventh Symphony for tomorrow night @The Esplanade.

I banished the immediate thought of him as my evening companion. Yucks! No!

Which posed a slight problem. Who is a neutral party who deserves my tickets? I have 4 tickets. Do I attend the concert in a group; Should I just be monogamous, stick to one partner and circulate what remains to Anyone-Will-Do?

After some consideration, a tad more weeding out, and partly out of womanly, useless spite which only my readers will read about and only yours truly can understand and feel emotionally vindicated by the act, I decided give a pair of tickets to Kah Beng since he's been nice, and very neutral(this is an important a priori condition to get the current batch of tickets) in the whole Angelinesque schema of Crazy-Shit-Happening-In-Life.

After texting him whether he wants a pair of tickets, I thought it's a bit off and rather odd, so I added: that alternatively, can go together and I'll pass the other pair to another independent party.

Kah Beng called shortly and said he has asked Weixiang.

He's your primary school classmate, remember. From Yu Neng, before you transferred.

Yah, Weixiang will enjoy the concert. He's from Symphonic Band. Wait a sec, how do you know I was from Yu Neng.

I was from Yu Neng too.

You are kidding right. How come I never knew that.

I plan to follow up on this interesting thread someday. I never knew Kah Beng and I shared the same primary school, I'm pretty sure he was never in my class (the best, but of course :) though Weixiang was. Anyhow, while I was pleasantly astonished, I also panicked at the potential social faux pas and was unfortunately, thus distracted.

Social faux pas? Yup, if he calls Weixiang, and starts off by saying he's bringing along someone I know, does it mean I should bring someone we all know? Or, is it just a sitting together and moving separate ways once the score has been completely ravished by the orchestra, and I'm free to take whoever I like as my partner. Which brings us back to the original source of the problem. Who to take? And on top of that now, do I take someone who knows all three of us?
And, is it a girl thing, that I'm fastforwarding so much? Like seriously, does it even matter? Don't care, I've always been concerned about group dynamics,

Technically, I don't *know* Weixiang. He's one of those friend of a friend of a friend - connections are so diluted that it means nothing. But he does enjoy an excellent reputation since young. I have never heard anything vaguely negative about the guy.

I kind of *know* Kah Beng.

On the whole, I would gun for *I don't know*.

Kah Beng said I can bring whoever I like. Argh. May I just turn up and produce the tickets while you provide the persons to fill up the seats?

Eventually he said he'll ask Xiangrong. But the latter is dating Jay Chou. *groans* So the burden fell on me to find my own companion again.

To be honest, I was getting a bit regretful at my rashness by now. If I had to find my own companion, and I had gone one full circle only to return to the same sad spot ie reduce to calling The-Person-I-Don't-Wish-To-Have-Anything-To-Do-With, like urgh. Pointless.

I threw in the towel and punched in those numbers.

Me: It's me.

He: Yes. *Sounding genuinely happy and glad,glad,glad*

Me: You want to attend a concert tomorrow night?

He: I got a paper on Mon.

Me *quite sian already upon hearing that, but in the name of etiquette, I persisted and prolonged to banter*: Can lah. It's open-book what. Law papers are easey-peasey.

He: I haven't studied much for that yet, and I still have four papers

Me: I got four tickets...someone can't make it, I thought you could go instead.

He: Does it involve people I know?

Me: I doubt so. Unless you happen to be in army together then. Then again, I don't really know them myself that well.

And I told him briefly of my dilemma, not the one in which I see-saw-ed between to call him and not, but the one in which I wonder if I should ask someone only I know as my companion.

He: So you want me to save you from a potentially awkward situation lah.

Me: You can say so.

He: I would but I can't.

Me *forlornly*: 算了，反正 you got exams.

He: it's not 反正, it's 因为。Because I got exams, I can't. Else I will.

Me: Same what. 反正 you cannot go what.

He *firmly*: It's 因为...there's a difference.

Me: whatever. Anyway, initially, I thought if it's too strange with them, I'd go off with you after the performance. Of course if you started acting weird, then I'd go off with them.

He: ...

*some other funny miscellaneous stuff*

But I was much cheered by the chat and once again, I get the strangest of feeling he's the only person that can make me feel secure and happy at the moment, in spite of all the nonsense we have to put up with in our interaction with each other. Whether as a friend only or something else, I will like to have him by my side.

In the end, it was Best Friend to the rescue. Ruth, kindly agreed to go with me, despite my dua-ing (and dumping) her, coz we were supposed to go out prior to my getting the complimentary tickets.

It will be interesting coz Ruth and I have never, ever hanged out with someone else, when we are together. If our twosome were ever expanded, it was incidental. Like April joining us for lunch and shopping because we were dropping our Hons form. Usually we keep to ourselves.

So whatever, this looks okay fun. And given Ruth has never met Kah Beng and Weixiang, it's like a blind date! Yups, that's really fun when we put it that way.

Kah Beng and Weixiang are genuinely good people at any rate. So. The odds are there we will enjoy everything...and let's do that mock deconstruction and critical analysis/review of the entire thing.

寂寞的窗 请开启我被岁月紧锁的思念

蓝蓝的天　往事一缕轻烟飘过你的眼廉
沉默的眼　请回答我还爱不爱我的从前
我的从前有你陪伴的梦　和一张疼爱的脸
如今细说往事　往事如烟 我是否还算是你的誓言

A trip to the hill made me realise that Shin is working there on a project basis. In fact, she's the AD of that sitcom Minxiu is casting people for, and they know each other. It's no surprise that both were surprised I know the other. A pleasant one for me nevertheless, and I also learnt that Vincent is freelancing at the same place, but doing location scouting (which is odd, and somewhat disturbing because his interests were always in directing and writing from what I can gather from superficial interactions with him). I feel happy seeing Shin again (she's that friend of Lynette whom we bumped into, Chinyi, in Kino that day. Minxiu, you remember that day we met in Kino and I was talking to some girls...I wonder if you recall but one of them just happened to be Shin, which now so happens that you know her when you didn't then, but paths were already crossed. Life works funny), despite barely knowing her. Like serious. I know her and Vincent like 4 years ago when we were working on a movie. Interaction lasted the whole of grand 2-3 months while the movie was in the works, after which was no more. But it made the day good to know she and Vincent are around and still struggling for art and ideals, in a way. On a very bright note, if i keep seeing people I used to know from schooldays at workplace, yay, it means we can very soon form a close-knitted army to start a revolution, imposing our critical notions of media and programming. *Incidentally, Chinyi's sister also worked on the same movie and a couple of years later, I got to know Chinyi and became great friends, not through sis, but through Hons year. Life works funny, that it's almost scary.

The day was also good because I get to check out Minxiu's workplace and experience Half A Day in the Life of a Casting Director. It's a pretty (and smoky) life at the moment :) And sitting through a quickie audition, I must say it's quite a joy watching him doubling up as the wubby and warming up the talents. His Singlish is also impeccable. Hours later after lunch and we had returned to our individual cubicles many express ways apart, we realised I had left my pass on his desk. Many thanks for driving to Tampines and thanks to my sis for picking up the pass from him!

As an aside, I was introduced as "an old friend". This brings to the foreground a nascent consciousness of having known each other for 12 years including 2004. So, old friends (you and Meihui ^5!!!), yay and more yays.

Casual meet was so-so. I must have faith that things can change and people do do good. My wish list can be a life I so desire to live.

Going back to my "real" office was nice. I miss my seniors and work.

I miss a lot of things; I am missing out on a lot. Must be because I'm helluva special person and hence am destined to face some things head-on.

Welcome back to Singapore, Shimin. I have been quiet of late but I do remember and you are missed. I'm really happy you are gonna hang around here a tad longer now that you've graduated.

白云翩翩　心事一面银幕飘过你的窗前
寂寞的窗　请开启我被岁月紧锁的思念
我的思念　有你牵挂的心和一首叫做誓言
如今细说往事　往事如烟 我是否还算是你的从前

往事从头　轻轻细说　梦的演变
多年以后　是否还有爱的容颜
往事从头　轻轻细说　沧海桑田
是否能够　回到从前再走一遍

Much Ado About Nothing

My supervisor wrote me a dream report. Apart from stating the good truths, she also included her recommendations of what career track I should be placed on and the directives are all aligned with and geared to what I can see myself doing (and enjoying). Life is fair. Sometimes you glower, and sometimes, you glow.

*

Big, big meeting coming up, even if purportedly a casual catching up. I can only ace it. Must remember to impress and request. Have to focus on what I want next to develop and accelerate. Bring up vital concerns.

*

Ruth came back from HK with lots of stuff for me! Ranging from assortment of bags (at least 7 at last count) to poncho to lippy gloss to hankerchief/towel to a espirit tank top and some food (from Singapore :), I love her so and she brings out the gift whore in me. Buy me pretty things and you earn my ethereal (but never eternal, that would take an endless supply of material things) devotion for at least three days.

*

I need to wash my watch. Yes, that Baby G needs a wash desperately. I realised I haven't worn it since that fatal night he commented how much grime is covering the blue.

I need to change my phone plan and I want to buy a new phone.

I watch to watch
(1) 5x2 (Minxiu: Have you watched since the last time you asked me to? Else can go this wk)
(2) BJ: The Edge of Reason (Nevermind reviews)
(3) The Incredibles

I also want to sing 5hs non-stop at least.

I need pants, tops and shoes, more, more, more.

Incidentally, I chopped off my hair unwillingly. My usual hair person gave me a cut that was too short and too blunt for my liking. When I expressed my discomfit and displeasure when she was blowing my do (It's too short; it's terrible, how come like that), she went "huh". I repeated as loudly as I can "My hair looks terrible. It's the worst I have had under you" and she said she can't hear me. Then she turned off the hair dryer and asked me what I spoke. I mustered all might and manage a squeak "Er, I don't think the hair looks too great today". What a fucking coward I am. Anyway, I still feel odd about the new do. It looks retro ie bob that curls up at the ends. Sigh. Sob. I shall assert my desire to only trim my hair and make it stay at a particular length that I feel at ease about. Yes, I want to hide behind all that hair. Anything that's less layered, more blunt and not long enough just make me feel naked.

*

Playing Nurse is very tiring, even if I'm at home all day long. But I do make short trips out to the pharmacy, CPF and NTUC and food courts (da-baoing)

Singapore Idol

For the record, this site endorses Taufik as Singapore Idol material. Have you heard the guy croon "Ain't No Sunshine"? He's got the groove, the moves, dress sense and all. And he has this awfully intense look that I like.

Sylvester, that rocker poseur, makes me want to stab a fork into his other un-shut eye everytime he does that *wink wink* and finger pointing. That's his only trick when he thinks he's being cool and charming. He seriously and completely grosses me out. It can't help that he cannot carry a tune.

Vote for Taufik! He's a looker, can dance, is versatile and a damn good singer. If all these fail to move you, I appeal to your sense of patriotism. We can take ever so much more pride in Taufik's representing Singapore in World Idol. Sylvester? I cringe. And Sly, making it big in the Chinese market? I really contest that.

Who wants tickets to the finals?

Waiting

My mum's home for good since Tuesday. She has insisted discharging herself permanently from hospice and hospital, citing that she shall die on her own bed. Fair enough. And she's given herself two weeks, possibly a month if good, to live. I'm sure she's feeling her mortality intensely. How do I tell? Mum's the typical Chinese mum who doesn't openly show her affections. Like never. She cooks my favourite dishes when she thinks there's a need to be expressive. But when I visited her on Tue, she was standing by the window. Upon seeing me, she fumbled over to embrace me. I'm like, shit, oh dear. Not the best of signs. I'm sure she has missed me but she must have been terrified of leaving my sis and i forever. And it's true she's not too great now. I really don't know when time is up. No idea at all. Mum tries to speed things up a little by involving me in pitifully grand stupid plans that I refuse to participate though. So they won't work without me, yay. Illegal, besides. But such thoughts are inevitable.

Anyhow, it's mum's wish that I can be around more and so I'm at home from now till next Wed night. Apart from running errands, I don't think I shall go out. Like in case mum decides to die, at least I'm there to witness the demise. Anyway, sis's having her exams, so I shall be Nurse instead. So people who have been asking, I can't watch those movies and all, cos movies take up too much time (2hs and excluding travelling!). The only movie indulgence I will allow myself is that BJ sequel: The Edge of Reason and only within Tampines parameters too. Maybe The Incredibles, if I get to choose at all.

Still, don't despair if I fail to reply to messages and what else, I'm just either sleeping or on away mode, busy with something. The former, cos I'm still sickly, having an extremely bad cough at the moment and catching up with sleep missed since a fortnight ago.

*

I'm lucky that I have a very kind and understanding supervisor. So kind she is, she is saying on top of whatever I'll be getting from the incentive scheme, I'll also get a cut from the tickets I helped to sell. The latter is not a lot, but I'm touched by the gesture. Here's someone who tries ways to get me money. Reminding my very important meeting next Thu, she told me not to go empty-handed and thrust me the file to show as some kind of portfolio to show him what I have done and as a very natural progression, the next career step I should so gently suggest. Did you bring along the press releases, she demanded. Here, take all these as well to tell him you wrote them.

Let's hope this is a good direction to turn.

*

Ruth's (otherwise known as Best Friend) off to Hong Kong. I gave her $60 to spend and shop on my behalf. There's nothing much I can do, save living literally in a viciously vicarious manner.

*

From Waiting:

No, time may prove nothing. Actually you never loved her. You just had a crush on her, which you didn't get a chance to outgrow or to develop into love.

Yes, you mistook your crush for love. You didn't know what love was like. In fact you waited eighteen years just for the sake of waiting. You could have waited that long for another woman too, couldn't you?

Yes, you waited so many years, but for what?

All those years you waited torpidly, like a sleepwalker, pulled and pushed about by others' opinions, by external pressure, by your illusions, by the official rules you internalized. You were misled by your own frustration and passivity, believing that what you were not allowed to have was what your heart was destined to embrace.

I don't know. I suppose we could all wait for one another while waiting for something better to come along. At least in the book, Shuyu waited quietly with some success. The man who had so desperately wanted to divorce her for 18 years told her to wait for him as he waited for the second wife, whom he has divorced the former to marry the latter, to die.

The Week I Worked Towards Perfect

And it's over!!! *Beams*

I shall now attempt to cover the last seven days of my life.

Monday. Can't remember. But I know I was working on the show.

Tuesday. Can't remember. But I know I was working on the show

Wednesday. Ahhh damn bloody tired and still working on the show! Took my intern around Bedok for a quick meal (she's from AMK) before arriving on the set. When curtains were down and I was more than ready to scuttle away (I feel, and I know I was about to fall sick then due to lack of sleep) to pass out on bed, Boss invited me to come with her and T to Tangs Renaissance ie the new Tangs grand night of openings, orgies and orgasms.

Me *righteously protesting*: I have to work the whole of next day! Am totally bummed out!

T: Well, I have to perform the whole of tomorrow on stage you know. That's no excuse! Come along with us!

Okay. That's true too. So reluctantly, I allowed myself to be driven all the way from Expo to like Orchard.

But I was immediately cheered by the sight of Tangs and the people in charge of the QCing at the door. Yay! I'm beautiful. Coz only beautiful people are invited to the Tangs fashion party, according to the card. I will also have fashion, fun, frolics and fancies, all mine! But have to share with all the others who are rich and famous and beautiful too. People like Glenn Goei, Emma Yong, Melody Chen...and like Christopher Michael Lee from SI, yes I saw Chrissypooh there too. He's really rather adorable but waaaaaay too short, pity.

Was very happy to be a charm (yet so charming too) slut and shamelessly collecting all the 5 (free) charms that can double up as trinkets. More Yays. Drank champagne, wine and had strawberries on a tall mountain and all sorts of tiny yummies (on trays carried by roaming waiters and waitresses). Had a $20 voucher that had to be spent that very night so I ended up paying $3.90 for something nice.

Quite happy and grateful that Boss jio-ed me along. This falls under the good life I aspire to. To attend these extravagant, wasteful functions is Just. So. Amazing. You mean some people do it as a living and others spend their lives flitting from one big social affair to another? Wheeee. Then again, I guess we all do, just in less glam conditions ie perching on one NUS tutorial and another :) Ended up in bed only at 3am.

Damn. have to work at 9am next day all the way into the night!!

True to form, my intuition never fails and I ended up sick on Thu. So.

Thursday. Sick and working. To distract me from my ills, I walked to the hall hosting the book sale and bought Gone With The Wind and Waiting (Ha Jin). Also found a fantastic bargain at the JL Sale. Andrea's anti-stress eye mask only going for $7 plus and it costs $18.80 usually.

Minxiu popped over for a long quickie (in the sense actual time spent together was short but while waiting for a good time was long) and expressed distaste at my show. And even greater surprise ("now why would I want to watch that?") when out of the goodness and kindness of my blessed heart, I asked if he wanted to go in and see see (since I have to work, still). Tsk. Darling, the show's travelling to Europe next! It's quite the inaugural production, but nevermind.

Friday. Succumbed to fever (38.3 c) and flu and cough and sore throat and voice loss and a day at home. A day during which I don't have to work!!!

Saturday. Back to work. Took pictures. Managed to buy some flowers at $2 per stalk at the show booth. This is possibly what I can take most pride in. You cannot believe that another lousy girl has refused my money 4 times. In theory, we can only buy the flower at all if we get the program that is sold at a whopping $14. But I have seen people buying the program without the flower so I'm just making up numbers by asking for flower only. But damn. She refused to budge. Eventually I approached a cute guy manning the other booth and got three flowers. I hate my own sex. Boo. So unhelpful.

Got to know Alex and I nearly faint upon realising he's 2 years younger than me!!! How can!!! What an insult. At least he looks older, so there.

Sunday. Still sick and working. Bought Toni Morisson's Love.

Monday. Yay! I bought the hair accessories I had been eye-ing at the show booth and braided my hair on the spot so that I had Winnie the Pooh on one and Piglet on the other. The merchandise head saw me and encouraged me to walk around to be a walking ad. Hee. In general, everyone thought I look very nice and cute but I released the braids once the show started. Took more free pictures at the show booth (they charge $14 and $22 for photo and frame!). Trent The Photographer signed "With Love, Trent" on my photo. Now how cool is that? Super duper cool. For I have never met someone called Trent in real-life. This is my Daria MTV fantasy come true. I have a token from Trent! It's okay if you don't get it.

Too sick to go partying at the hotel after the last show. No voice either. So goodbye Trent, cute Japanese show manager and everyone. Sob. But I'm sure partying and drinking will just about do me in completely.

It's over!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!

Pastiche

Someone did a web search on Angeline Ang and was directed here.

Another did a search on vein fetish and ended up here.

Are these two searches done by the same person? More importantly, was there anyone specifically looking for me on the WWW?

C'mon strangers, leave me your names and tell me more about yourselves.

And see, I told you I was not the only person with a vein fetish. Lovely.

*

The Japanese mentioned in the previous post, after he tossed aside his jacket and changed into a rather fitting tee, revealed an extremely well built (chunky is the word, and he's almost as tall as Eka ie 1.87m) body and muscular arms, with slightly protruding veins. Hmm. But anyway, it's that kind of "I wonder if it's on steroids" feeling that his body gave me.

*

I have been surviving on very little sleep due to the opening of the show and the fact that I'm the assistant manager, to use a politically correct term (even though Boss loves to announce to everyone proudly I'm her poor project co-ordinator to torture), which means I stick my fingers and toes into everywhere hole-y and have to be like everywhere all the time to plug shamelessly (and for publicity as well).

*

I thought it was quite cool that Huang Shinan ie Pan Lingling's husband came to me and made small talk while waiting for Zheng Geping and his wife, Hong Huifang.

*

I'm very tired. But I have accumulated a lot of funny stories that can't be blogged. So that's serious fun man.

*

Foodfest at Expo nothing much. But if any of you coming down to Expo for that, or Giant Sale, or the book sale later, let me know! I'm down at Expo for like every single day and night, including public holidays till mid Nov...

*

Mum came home and after two days, promptly was re-admitted to SGH. That's the update on that. And my maid application was not cleared so I can't employ one. It seems at the moment, mum will have to stay at a hospice. I'm waiting for the show to be more or less over (I can go on long leave after that) and after I get more sleep before I attempt to think and work my way through it. Call it escapism, whatever, as it is, I really am not in the right frame of mind to consider such monumental things, kick up a huge fuss at MOM, whichever. I just want to sleep.

I'm With Her

The last two days saw me having lunch on the house at the hotel. I mean, like, this is the good life I aspire to, man, before things in the private sphere spiraled a little out of control and I became more homely and domestic. I was also offered a room to stay at the hotel for the next ten odd days but of course, given the way things are, I can’t. Oh well. Anyway, I swear the roast beef carving is to die for, and so yummy is the black peppery sauce.

*

I was also at the airport for the last couple of days to pick up cast and crew. And hey, today’s Cheap Thrill came from the show manager, who’s a terribly good-looker, whom I only met today. Casual yet stylishly put together and very tall, resembling an immensely improved and youthful version of Dick Lee, the icing on the cake had to be him being of Japanese descent and speaking English with the American twang. I think he’s so hot. I’m sure he is prominently veined, but I can’t prove it because he was wearing a light brown jacket. Anyway, he was the first to walk out and stood beside me to wait patiently for the rest.

How was the cheap thrill provided? You know how there are airport transfers and those drivers would hold up a board with your name? Yups. Apparently some guy was asking Show Manager whether he’s waiting for someone a short while later.

Show Manager: I’m sorry but I’m with her.

Her referring to yours truly of course. Finally, a man who is unafraid to commit to a firm declaration of belonging, and who’s a looker to boot! Got a kick out of it.

I know, I know. Like I say, cheap thrill.

*

Is it wrong to love and be loved like this? Is it all right with you?

Can the substitute ever replace the original? How long does it take for the original to fade gracefully away?
Boo, Derrida!

Write Where It Hurts

I attended a glitzy and semi-glam private function at Wisma Indochine yesterday. I was invited, I’m afraid. And I’m getting used to the whole idea of networking and gathering contacts (Nickelodeon!). Like exchanging namecards and smallest of talk and pretend it’s the most natural thing in the world. Well, when I get really good at it, it will hopefully be the most natural thing in the world. Still, I managed to pick up pointers from this girl who seriously went around each table introducing herself *and together, repeat after me* like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

And I saw, the press.

Now, I’m seriously, seriously considering to be a reporter covering media events (so as not to render my current portfolio utterly obsolete and irrelevant) like local arts/theatre scene, international pop/entertainment acts and if possible, my pet peeve, local politics (wait, isn’t this performance covered under local arts/theatre scene). I hope the next G.E waits for my career switch. But should I opt for TODAY or CNA and hang on, do I get to choose at all in this pandemonium that is my so-called life?

Now that my boss put the idea into my head and pretty much convinced me it’s the only way to be taken seriously and excellent training ground, it’s actually one that I’m partial to suddenly, more so than Radio now, more appealing. Weird or what. I doubt the SINS chocolate and glamour of yesterday leftover from the private function played any deciding factor. I contest that.

Anyhow, time to let HR know. I would probably end up in neither, given the pervasive universal Murphy’s Law but I’d do anything for a meaningful life so I will do my best to circumvent hateful and thwarting circumstances. And just as a precaution, no 8 DAYS and I-Weekly, please. So there. I have jinxed the possibility of both happening by writing them here.

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Any place is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
We won't have to drive too far
Just 'cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living

I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way

There's Something Here Even If I Have Lost That Forever In Life

If anyone should wonder, I blog mostly because I barely have time to write anything decent anymore, and blogging is a way of tracking what I spend time on. More importantly, it's an informal record of what has been happening that could possibly emerge as a proper narrative, once I have the time and energy to appropriate people I know and stuff I experience into my literary stream of consciousness. And I tell you, there're many best-sellers in there.

It's really less to do with representation of self than stories begging to be read and repeated. I don't aim to have any persona. but I try darnest to tell good ie "as-real-as-it-gets-good" stories, so that I have the record they did happen. My blog is THE memory prosthesis. It only matters that the telling gets told and stories get stored. In some small but significant way, reality gets verified. There's something here, even if I have lost that forever in life.

It's also a darn good way of preventing my brain from atrophying. I get to process thoughts in here, and use words I otherwise can't normally, since office mails are what I usually churn out. Best Regards. Could you please. Do consider this favourably. Looking forward to meeting you.
Yawn. More Yawns. Must write differently somehow, to maintain some sort of standard akin to that of NUS days, during which we wrote excruciatingly beautiful and exciting intellectual arguments and get appreciation in return. Would be such a waste if I were to degenerate. This is the space for it.

And mentioning of brains, here's something I will seriously consider attending, if I can get away from work~

Jacques Derrida: The Debt
Date and Time: Next Wed 3 Nov 4-5pm, Department of English language and Literature
Venue: Department Reading Room

Dr John Philips is probably chairing the meet to mourn and to talk, and to be all ironically performative. Jacques Derrida was an important figure in Hons year (not to mention the only thing I took away from Critical Theory Classes) so I figure it would be nice to go and pretend to be an academic again. Hmmm. Anyone wants to go? It's obviously free. And the question is also obviously rhetoric.

*

Back to real life, I have a leading man as a friend!! Please watch True Files tomorrow 10pm to catch Minxiu as the baddie.