The Depths Of Shallowness

Drowning, Drowning in Cynicism; Drunk, Drunk with Sentimentality; Down, Down with Love; Dunked, Dunked in Life. Desperate Discourse. Disposable Desires. Dusky Dreams. Delirium. Dignity. Despair. Doubt. Duty. Dewy Days. Divine Divide. Dump Everything that Bothers in The Depths of Defiance. 《我的快樂時代》唱爛 才領悟代價多高昂 不能滿足不敢停站 然後怎樣 All Rights Reserved ©Angeline Ang

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Location: Singapore

Tempestuous. Intense. Proud. Intellectual. Easily Bored. Consummate Performer. Very Chinese. Very Charming. Fair. Pale. Long, Curly, Black Hair. BA(Hons). Literature. Philosophy. Japanese. Law. Dense in Relationships. Denser in All Else. Brooding. Sceptical. Condescending. Daria Morgendorffer meets Kitiara Uth Matar meets Ally McBeal. Always dreamy, always cynical, always elusive. Struggling writer, artist and student, in that order please.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Exposé

Underexposure is underexposed for a good reason, and it should stay that way. We hated it.

*

Last night, he said his throat has been feeling weird, ever since he came back from China. This morning, I woke up with a sore throat.

Me: Irrefutable conclusion. You made me sick.

He: That’s harsh. I hope that pun was not intended.

Me: So far, no – You don’t make me sick in that way.

He: Haha, good.

We went to Ma Maison for dinner. I fibbed and told my favourite story of how the huge key that was given to us at the table can be exchanged for a real room key at Intercontinental Hotel, with compliments from the restaurant – we are allowed to spend up to max of 2 hs in the private suite, being a tie-up promotion and all. Obviously, he believed.

*

But he scared me a little when we revisited the subject on blogs. What’s yours. I stared intently at the tealight and kept silent.

I haven’t actually written anything incriminating and ridiculous that can’t be seen by anyone, but I do write as if Mr Veins and Mr Dimples will never learn of the existence of this blog. Okay, fine, even if they do, like Mr Dimples, the knowing stretches as far as knowing I do have a blog, and never the contents.

So I didn’t say, but he did tell of his blog address in the end, which I did visit.

*


Or maybe I should just admit that I really can’t hold my drink. Went to Eski Bar with Minxiu and his Northwestern friends and stayed till closing. I only consumed one Eski Blue (alcoholic content and contents: unknown – but it taste friendly), which was 30ml at most. Felt okay. Then went to that Teochew porridge place near Zouk for supper, and I was still good. Slipped home and still okay. But woke up with a splitting headache. Lack of sleep or overdose of alcohol? If it’s the latter, and I’m experiencing a so-called hangover, then that’s damn pathetic. I’m pathetic. Incidentally, this is probably the real reason why I’m nursing a sore throat. I doubt I caught a throat germ through the food sharing.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

The Personal Is Political

Ruth *anxiously*: Are we in the right cinema?

Me *looking at the crowd*: I'm sure we are. See how pretentious the people look! It's French that we bought into tonight.

*

Finally, a French movie that I like!

My first movie for SIFF 2005 was
One Sings, One Doesn't - a lovely feminist showcase that pays tribute to the 60s and 70s.

I picked this because of the era and and its themetic concerns. Pleasantly surprised that it turned out so well, given that French movies are usually anathema to me (I have to watch them - obligation to prove the premise they are pretentious instead of just dissing/dismissing them unfairly). Bad experiences, even for acclaimed ones like Jeux D'enfants.

This one was actually engaging, and has a good storyline, and I believe, according to my scholarly academic understanding of feminism, relatively authentic, sincere, and lovingly shot.


I love the quirky, folksy feminist songs and giggled at various scenes, in particular:

Pauline *singing about birth and pregnancy for an audience (she happens to be pregnant at that time)*: Life is a big fat balloon, fat dream...*coos endearingly*

Irate feminist audience member: Are you discriminating against women who have no children???

To her credit, Pauline replies that she's singing how she feel as a woman, of her feelings, and she is currently experiencing the the nascent stages of motherhood. So. Heh.

Well, the personal is political. Okay. So the personal is political - what does this statement mean? To understand that, we have to trace back to what made feminism possible - CR groups

The emergence of consciousness-raising (CR) groups enabled women to be sentient that men have imposed their version of reality on women. By speaking out and sharing in these groups, women grew aware that very often, what is portrayed and projected as the standard, normative female ideals, standards and feelings were constructs by men, which hardly reflected what women were truly embodying and experiencing.

Silent and passive women had perpetuated these falsified experiences, each believing that she was the aberrant and abnormal woman when what was perceived as an individual inadequacy was actually a common-to-all, collective problem.

Through the phenomenon of CR, women discovered there was an alternate reality that was female. As a result, they became more confident and articulate. The slogan that CR groups adopted, “the personal is political” is the very first indication of the boundaries that can be dismantled and crossed for the female experience.

By shifting the personal to the public sphere, women grew increasingly conscious of the urgency to be expressive instead of internalizing blame for failing to match up to the epitome, since what is epitomized was never endorsed and embodied by women but the patriarchy in power.

The “personal is political” slogan empowered women through encouraging and facilitating the discussions of issues that had bothered each woman to show that it was not a unique situation but one which most, if not all, women faced, and making such a problem to be of a political nature, one that was determined and perpetuated by social structures.

Coining of terms like sexism and sexual harassment through CR shifted the locus of reproach from women to men. Previously, before the invention of such terms, it was women who were too sensitive and whose behaviour was problematic if they were bold enough to protest against male behaviour that made them uneasy. The problem is compounded again by the collective silence of women who shared the experiences but each believing it was only she was the odd one with the neuroses. The naming of sexism and sexual harassment established the validity of female problems, which otherwise were deemed unreal.

Women were rediscovering a female reality. CR opened up worlds of possibilities and alternatives for women, promoting speech and sharing, highlighting censorship as estranging and alienating. This dissolution of the personal and the melting into the political heralds the heydays of feminism in the 1970s.

So. Yeah. The personal is political. Never think your thoughts don't count. Everything is political, since everything is personal. You can contribute to change. Like change the world. Make a difference.

I love feeling brainy again :) Anyway, I got to confess I dozed off a couple of times because I was so tired. But it is wholly unfair to attribute that to the film. It was good. And Ruth slept through almost all of it. Nothing to do with the film either.

The One With The Questions

Favourite Colleague, devoted Christian: Must be thankful to God.

Me: Fine. I shall stop doubting his existence for a while.

Favourite Colleague: Come to church lar

Me: I say stop doubting, not start supporting. Maybe next year. When manifestations are in the form of even bigger increments. *smiles*

Yes, I got my increment, bonus and promotion. So yay to all that. You know I deserve it. I’m now Assistant Manager. Don’t have to feel so tiny when I exchange cards with people who are managers, directors and CEOs.

*

But things are never so simple, are they. I need to constantly remind myself I’m not 20 anymore, and I have to do and achieve everything now, now, now if I’m to get anywhere at all. There’s pressure to perform from myself for myself. There’s the desire for immediate gratification. Then there’s always the pleasure of throwing in the towel and be a hippie/bohemian creature in my imagination. Minxiu accused me of being high-maintenance. But I’m not, for goodness’ sake, my alter ago is as artsy as arty-farty can go. We, the artless artsy - we don’t care about money, just quality of life(style).

Dear reader, what can we do at our age? Go back to law school, start a business, leave Singapore and be a drifter, carry on and let it be – what can we give up and what control do we have to relinquish in the first place?

Depressing thoughts, considering the good news but I’ve always been a cynic and sceptic, with tendencies to romanticise.

*

Since graduating from Dunman High, Peiyun (my ex-classmate and someone I am very fond of) and I have met up no more than 10 times. Possibly on the average of once every 2 years. But each time we come together, our enjoyment derived from each other's company is obvious.The paths we have chosen cannot be more different, yet we share the same temperament and proud demeanour. She's one of my fiercely ambitious buddies (despite her strenuous denials) and I love her all the more for that. Really. Most of my friends fail to comprehend my distress and despair when it comes to Life. But I think she does, because she was experiencing doubt and defeat, though she has clawed her way out and headed straight for her dream career through sheer hard work. I need more inspirational friends like that.

Most of my friends are laid-back and content. Good for them.

But I’m not like that. And sometimes I forget, because I’m around them so often, that I get lulled into a false sense of security and complacency. When I wake up from the reverie, I lose time. So it’s bad for me in that way.

I need more friends who are steely and ambitious, so that I won’t get lost myself (or, lose myself) and we can help each other along the way, the whole shoulder to cry on thing.

What am I doing with my life? Why do I keep asking this?

仁慈的父我已墜入 看不見罪的國度 請原諒我的自負
沒人能說沒人可說 好難承受 榮耀的背後刻著一道孤獨

閉上雙眼我又看見 當年那夢的畫面
天空是濛濛的霧 父親牽著我的雙手
輕輕走過 清晨那安安靜靜的石板路

Thursday, April 14, 2005

A Simple Face (Phase)

One can’t complain too much about life if it’s possible to sneak in an 8pm onwards KTV concert/session in the heart of Orchard till close to 4am on a normal working weekday night. We should be thankful, even though we are paying our dues as we write and wade through duties.

*

Ezo has left for Korea and so, pretty things from Korea for me! Managed to spend some time together on Monday night @Esplanade over Italian fare (1 for 1 main course special with UOB card) and chocolate fondue.
She has been posted to CGH for her housewomanly stint, which is really near my place and we look forward to more great times together (Huixin, don’t you just miss us here all the way to New Zealand?). That is, if being a decent doctor-to-be doesn’t imprison her in the hospital for extended and exhaustive periods.

Dare I say the same for him? For a union so unlikely, that he is so legally bound by and to work, do I append? I can add, but I fear lawful acknowledgement in our eyes will always be too late in coming.


*


No one can convince me being female is easy work. Hell, no. And it’s damn expensive. April got suckered into buying the basic Clinque daily cleansing-toning-moisturising routine. Brand comes complete with price and she’s $107 poorer after getting the smallest pack. I’m not entirely convinced enough to fork this much for the essential basics. But I bought the Clinque toner and Clinque sun screen (I have decided I’m getting a tad too many freckles and it’s reaching a stage whereby exceeding x no of freckles is possibly un-cute) to prevent further freckling. That, too, set me back a hefty 3 figure.

Apart from my $100 tress trimmings at Paragon (which go up to $180 now and then should I opt for indulgent Keratase spa treatment), I consider myself pretty low maintenance as far as frills are concerned. But even if I forego the elaborate making up (which, trust me, has never been embraced, yet), I find myself going through a tedious routine for the face daily. WASH, (EXFOLIATE), TONE, MOISTURE, AND NOW SLAP ON THE SUN SCREEN. POWDER IF DESIRED. And requiring 10 minutes of morning time is asking a lot, though it may seem negligible in the bigger scheme of things.

It took me this long to bother and put all the *right* stuff to nourish my face (purportedly). How much time must I invest when I decide to include my remaining skin. How the hell do women get outta their house ever.

I’m still trying to learn the skill effortlessly and naturally: how the best of my sex gets the time to perfect make-up techniques (in 5 minutes), do mani-pedicures, pluck and shape brows, dye/perm/rebond/set hair, facial/body sessions while staying mythically hairless in a politically incorrect manner. The best of them look okay (as in not too scary and obvious) and hopefully, it didn't take too much time once they get the hang of it.

We’ll all get there someday. But I want to look 19 forever. Okay, realistically, 20 forever.

Do guys attempt to put anything on the face and body at all? Guys whom I actually know? From the looks of it, I say no. Oops. Correct me if I’m wrong.

Monday, April 11, 2005

For The Weeks & Months Ahead

少年 - 光良/曹格
曲:光良 词:管启源 编:Azlan Abu Hassan

你又想起某个夏天 热闹海岸线
记忆中的那个少年 骄傲的宣言

伸出双手就能拥抱全世界
相信所有的梦想一定会实现
一切看起来都不会太遥远
转眼之间过几年

轻浮的语言都已慢慢沈淀
即使难免会变得更加洗炼
我们不曾妥协

那是我们都回不去的从前
幸好还可以坚持当时的信念
世界尝试改变
当初的那个少年 那是我们都回不去的从前

当你站在那个夏天的海岸线
我们还是心里面 那个偏执的少年
你又想起某个夏天 热闹海岸线

记忆中的那个少年 骄傲的宣言
伸出双手就能拥抱全世界
相信所有的梦想一定会实现
我们不曾妥协

那是我们都回不去的从前 当你站在那个夏天的海岸线 我们还是心里面 那个偏执的少年

Cam(p) It Up, Clamp It Down

I got my sparkling new, swanky and showy NOKIA 7260. It’s so flamboyant and dynamic, and just screams ATTENTION. Am very proud of my very seductive phone which comes along with the camera and video function. I’m now officially a cam-whore. Hell, I’ve wall-papered myself – how narcissistic and self-loving is that.

I think Mr Dimples is possibly very sly. Having announced to him that my latest text is written and sent from my immensely attractive new handphone, he congratulated on the conquest and replied he will admire it next time we are to meet. Obviously, I highlighted that he will not only see it, he will be in it – me being charmed still by the camera function and extremely trigger happy (don’t think the novelty will ever wear off in the short run). Mr Dimples then reflected that he does “feel uncomfortable when asked to be photographed alone into telephones. It’s just unnatural.” Fine, I said. We can take together.

Well, I do feel very at ease posing for my dear handphone.

*

I watched that horrid R21 movie with Minxiu and walked away with only one impression: Ah B’s ex-wife is very pretty! But the movie can’t decide on what direction it should head. So it ended up a pseudo arthouse flick – which is actually/essentially a ghost story with SM thrown in. Ah B’s wife gets hot (but not hot enough) with a mysterious guy who is the ex-lover of this old Japanese taitai (but nobody knows this in the beginning, of course) that she is friendly with. The twist is that the guy is actually a ghost who was killed during SM love-making with the taitai when they were very young. Hang on, or maybe, the twist is that the taitai actually used to be a guy (snippets of the past showing the young version of taitai were acted by that real-life I-have-had-a-sex-op sexy Korean model). Whatever. Anyway, lightly touched on Freudian-based theories were just as lightly tossed, and we learnt that the taitai is in love with pain/SM because her dad abused her mum. So. The old taitai advises Ah B’s wife to get out of the ghostly affair but she says she will not and she wants to experience/learn SM and for him to “take her with him”. Then comes the so-called climax (which drove Minxiu to doze off) with their ecstatic cries, and she dies happily. There’s also a policeman hovering along the peripherals whom wife has the hots for initially and even flashed her breasts at him. But he never gets a piece of the action. The ghost did kiss him heavily and leave him panting in the rain though.

Does that sound like a really bad/mad movie? Score wasn’t too bad though.

*

Minxiu bought a really nice pair of Tinkerbell earrings from Disneyland for me!!! This deserves special mention. They are very pretty and have garnered a whole lot of attention from people.

I hope your feet are better now and you have a safe week ahead for work after close to 3 weeks of hiatus.

*

Mr Veins is very busy prosecuting, I guess. Can I blame him for working all the time? Hell, he even managed to make me feel a little guilty – apparently his case was mentioned in papers and of course, I never noticed. I told him about handphone loss and he said that was irrelevant since my number stays same. Then a beat later – unless you cannot remember my number, he added. I sighed inwardly and replied what’s the point of having the number when we (I) can’t do anything with it. Then we relived briefly some mantras for my benefit: In Law, $ not easy to earn, he’s still a newbie so must work very hard etc.

*


Yay! New week. Can work harder. Can show off phone. Can show off myself.

Addendum: I'm half-sorry we spoke at all last night. Being agonisingly antagonistic can't be the only way to secure my attention and affection. Just now, he turned the usual trick. Startled me by starting something (continuing vaguely from yesterday) disagreeable and then after working me up, stopped and logged off ICQ.

He: i presume u would have read the papers' report on the bank robber's economy with the truth.

Me: That doesn't change the fact he is half-blinded and has shrapnels embedded in his head.

Me: Can the Cisco guard be sued?

He: as a result of his own actions...

He: i think the bank customers and staff are kind enough not to sue the robber for causing permanent emotional distress and psychological harm resulting in life-long bank branch-phobia.

Me: but surely if it was life-threatening (given the guard didn't know it was a toy gun), he ought to have aimed for the leg, arm or something. or even the heart. i just din get how the robber can end up blind and possibly brain-impaired eventually. was it very bad aiming?

He: it was bad positioning by the robber. he didn't duck or wear a crash helmet.

Me: is that the factual account? coz the papers only mentioned he was shot by the guard. i'm incredulous and appalled that the guard din aim for a position that only maims at most. surely that would be what they are taught. to inflict the least harm unless absolutely necessary

He: in battle and combat (u wun understand since u refuse to volunteer for NS), things do not happen as one intended as planned.

Me: well, i have been through Life, surely that counts for something. i do know things do not go as intended or planned, but some screw-ups are possibly self-created, made worse by the fumbling actions of others, of which the latter should bear some form of responsibility.

He: u dun understand the workings of firearms, since u refuse to bear arms for the defence of the State.
so I dun see how u are fit to comment...

Me: I don't see how that has any bearing on the situation. If you do know anything, and you are refraining from saying what can enlighten, then that will be obviously your fault, this silly reticence.

He: do not be too quick to condemn if u aren't privy to all the facts....simply basing your assumptions on the media reports....

Me: if you are implying that's an accident, that the firearms went off the wrong way whatever, i hope a proper and fair investigation has been conducted to ensure it was not due to the ineptitude of the guard that caused the robber to be forever handicapped.

He: did I imply that it's an accident? hell no.

He: pls reflect on this....good day.

Me: i already said that this was how i feel based on media reports. i'm not privy to anything else so a disclaimer has been established. still that shouldn't hamper forming an opinion, and if you know of something that you are not telling and merely taunting, i think you should reflect on this silly, silly attitude. Good night.

Reflect on what? I wouldn't reflect on this, and I certainly wouldn't dwell on us.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Message(s) In The Handphone

On Tuesday night, I lost my mobile in PS. I’m secretly pleased that I managed to lose it at all. Been procrastinating over a new buy for the longest time and the unexpected turn of events will ensure a cool form with function in my hand before the week is over. What I am sorry about is the loss of entire sms histories, of which more than 60% comes from Mr Veins on bright and dark days. Well, I suppose I can read that as a sign.

It is also traumatic to realize how few numbers one has committed to heart and mind, with(out) the convenience of a mobile. Ruth’s home no – checked. Mr Dimples’ home no – checked (only because he has called me from home before and his no is really easy on the brain). My sis’ mobile no – checked. Mr Veins’ home and mobile no – checked.

That is pretty much it. And I only wanted to approach Ruth and sis for help, which rendered the other numbers useless for the time being. My sis saved the day by getting me a replacement sim card and a temporary phone. Ruth, I regret to say, was (probably) most unfortunately, bogged down by work problems, such that I doubt my SOS even registered. She just sounded immensely flustered and confused. It’s ok. I forgive you. Just have to contact me so that I can reinstate your number in where it does belong.

This also goes out to friends reading the blog. Contact me! My formal social life, if we go by the number of numbers in my temporary mobile, at the moment, effectively consists of five people. That’s damn small, if not sad.

He: My deepest condolences to the loss of your handphone. I’ve not done research on handphones ‘cause I’ve resisted changing but my ‘extensive’ reading shows Nokia is on a revival because of its revamping of its product line to include clam shell phones. Mine is a Nokia by the way.

That is not from Mr Veins but it sure sounds like him (In any case, Mr Veins has no idea I lost my mobile – not that he’d care, for it won’t affect him, he knows, since we have established we do remember each other’s numbers by heart). I was quite alarmed by Mr Dimples. Apart from bearing a strong physical resemblance, now it appears they speak/text in strikingly similar tones.

NB: Mr Dimples is privy to the fact that I’m more happy than sad over my accidental loss and that I dropped my handphone (literally drop ie crashing to ground – not losing, it’s my first time) like hot potatoes all the time.

He: I suspect that you have thrown away your phone in the middle of the night when no one is watching. The ‘ lost your handphone’ veneer is just a ploy to cover up for your hideous crime.

He: You’ve provided me evidence of your past records of ill treating it all along. These evidence will add weight to me suspicions that you murdered it.

Me: 聪明的人最不可爱!So smart, so righteous hor – help my handphone seek redress lor.

He: Based on the tone of your reply, coupled with the lack of remorse shown, I conclude you are guilty of the stated crime. What’s done is done and We’ll have to forgive you. So, you’re buying a candybar phone? Nokia springs to mind immediately.

Me: ?! Who is ‘we’? How come sudden got plural? Who is the jury!

He: We as in your handphone and me. They try to personify handphones in their ads in UK, usually making the handphones feel ashamed that they are out of fashion compared to their peers and so the owner has the obligation to upgrade it.

He: Do try out the ‘shock’ test on the phone by dropping it several times from various heights. Then, you can have the delight of observing the shocked sales persons.

I am seeing double!! Help!! That’s Mr Dimples. Check, Check, Checked.

Anyway, for the SIFF,

I’ve confirmed the following:

1. One Sings, The Other Doesn’t – with Ruth
2. Underexposure – with Eric
3. Millenium Mambo – with Eric and Weixiang
4. In the Shadow of the Pagodas – With Eric and Weixiang
(3 and 4 are shown back to back of the same night)

Other movies I do want to watch are City of Sadness, Flowers of Shanghai and Tokyo Noir. And maybe Samaritan Girl. Please come forward and volunteer yourselves as company hor, especially now that I have lost my mobile.

I wanted to watch Hole In My Heart quite badly but Ryan’s treating us three girls with his first paycheck at The Rice Table at the same time. So. Friendship and food always triumph.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Another Great Closure To The Week

Supposed to have a quick dim sum lunch at Changi (yes, I do like that place much, thank you) with my sister. We kept within our budget of $10 per head despite ordering everything nice on the menu. Yum!

Unfortunately, this thriftiness was short-lived. A simple browse through John Little and another unknown shop at White Sands saw us accumulating close to $200 worth of receipts. But man, did we make some excellent buys. I was very encouraging and urged my sis to *take them all* because the clothes and shoes were so bright and cheery and feminine. They go with her funky new hair-do very well (freshly cut). Actually we bought identical tops, but somehow she looks better in them! I’m very tempted to cut my hair this short too, so that I can also have the spunky image but hey, I just got my $100 trim.

Got a flirty little black velvet halter dress at 50% discount. One of those items I hoard and rarely see the light because I’m saving them to stun and shock for a rainy day that never comes. It’s never rainy enough ie never found an occasion worth dressing up so spectacularly. But I got two very nice capris pants. Since I can’t find any jeans that fit and flatter the form well enough at the moment, I congratulate myself on my luck today that they can take the place of trusty denim.

And me, ever encouraging again, got my sister to pierce her ears *hoots* I’m such a wonderful sister, and I paid for everything!!

I’m very pleased I bought so many nice wearable things such that going out for work and play can be very exciting once more. I’m also very proud of my sister who is looking even better than me at the moment.

Here’s a series of fun shots recently taken. I’m quite sorry I looked so voluptuous ie fat but I sincerely assure you 50% of the fleshy image is contributed by the lightness of my companions. They are like super slim lor.



And coming up next, the series of crazy Japanese KAWAII schoolgirl poses!!!

Next week can only be better.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Kitiara Uth Matar

What D&D Character Are You?

I've always wanted to be Raistlin Majere. But I'm female. So I decide next best would be Kitiara Uth Matar. They are half siblings anyhow, so that's close enough for me. Goldmoon is okay too. I'm probably a female Tanis though.

My test results showed that ~~

My Alignment: Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.

My Race: Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.

My Primary Class: Mages harness the magical energies for their own use. Spells, spell books, and long hours in the library are their loves. While often not physically strong, their mental talents can make up for this.

My Secondary Class: Clerics are the voices of their God/desses on Earth. They perform the work of their deity, but this doesn't mean that they preach to a congregation all their lives. If their deity needs something done, they will do it, and can call upon that deity's power to accomplish their goals.

All That She Wants

Never underestimate the power of a great date.

Incredibly, I am still suffering from the after effects of Sunday night. Spillover is amazing, for I feel good and nothing gets to me. Well. Ridiculous. I know.

*

I just replied to an email from the same person.

*Spill spill*

*

As an aside, I manage to go on two separate dates with people (all ladies – I usually am more forgiving towards females) who are apparently cursed with absolutely horrendous social skills. Despite (and because of) doing PR, I do have a relatively generous threshold towards awkward and inept people. Still, I draw the line at being plain rude and showing blatant disregard for how others are trying to have a good time and make sure you have a good time. You fail to see how much people are accommodating. Sadly, your repugnant and offensive behaviour is just lost on you.


The latter(later) threesome date was nevertheless slightly better than the former. My other female companion palliated the situation with admirable aplomb by being totally agreeable and soothed me. The night was saved by her whipping out her camera, and us posing, posing, posing, all smiley and sassy.

The first date went off so badly that my other female companion decided to take a break even from me altogether. Time out, she said. Twosome is better henceforth but I think I need some time to recover from the trauma. Tonight was an utter waste of time. And I have to agree. I was unhappy (– but happy by virtue of a spillover effect – I really don’t care) and conversation was wholly unnatural and made me immensely uncomfortable. The two of us tried to have a good time but it did not happen because the third companion was quite set on being determinedly whimsical (at best) and antagonistic (at worst).

I really don’t understand how people can act the way they do, especially when we are all friends here. It doesn’t mean we are good and old friends that you come across as necessarily stamped with approval over the years. Or that I can’t change my mind and decide you are distasteful. Please, you still gotta earn and maintain your stripes. If you don’t want to be likeable, that’s fine by me. Don’t expect me to mince my words and put up with you. I like to be with likeable people (shallowly and loosely defined as intelligent people who have a great sense of humour and at least the necessary minimal amount of EQ to ensure we have a grand time).

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Great lingerie sale by Triumph at Tampines Mall Level 4 open area.Till 3rd April. I got two of a lovely beach design. I had my eye on that since it came out. But it was really too expensive. Plus considering the price, the amount of material that went into the making was way too minimal (compared to the usual huh), and I was both prudish and prudent enough not to act on my desire.

Now it’s two for only $49.90!!!! When the design first came out, it was like 69.90 per piece (!?!?).

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I’m having a lazy weekend. Doing nothing. Not arranging anything. Just freeing myself, and chill. Love me, love having Me Time.