The Depths Of Shallowness

Drowning, Drowning in Cynicism; Drunk, Drunk with Sentimentality; Down, Down with Love; Dunked, Dunked in Life. Desperate Discourse. Disposable Desires. Dusky Dreams. Delirium. Dignity. Despair. Doubt. Duty. Dewy Days. Divine Divide. Dump Everything that Bothers in The Depths of Defiance. 《我的快樂時代》唱爛 才領悟代價多高昂 不能滿足不敢停站 然後怎樣 All Rights Reserved ©Angeline Ang

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Tempestuous. Intense. Proud. Intellectual. Easily Bored. Consummate Performer. Very Chinese. Very Charming. Fair. Pale. Long, Curly, Black Hair. BA(Hons). Literature. Philosophy. Japanese. Law. Dense in Relationships. Denser in All Else. Brooding. Sceptical. Condescending. Daria Morgendorffer meets Kitiara Uth Matar meets Ally McBeal. Always dreamy, always cynical, always elusive. Struggling writer, artist and student, in that order please.

Sunday, January 02, 2011

My job is not responsible for me

Maybe I simply stopped writing on a personal basis because I have to write so much corporate literature for work. When I was based in the hill in younger days, there was blog fodder all the time because there was angst, anxiety and time, all inversely correlating to a lack of money and standing career-wise. Fast forward three years later, the $ + status has only led to a hedonistic and selfish lifestyle that is seriously wearing me out. I spend hard because I work harder. As it is, I am tapping this out in full knowledge that I have to prepare a message draft right after this, before I even go to bed. But I know better; that I should blog more to regain control of my life and my words. Just because I am being paid to be a corporate slave doesn’t mean I should be enslaved the full 24 hours. I am me, with or without my company label.

It is getting tougher to love Singapore and my life here, when life in Singapore is so tightly intertwined with work and there is a ridiculous obsession with productivity. I love what I do for a living; I only don’t believe I should be relentlessly working at full capacity or push gear into overdrive perpetually. For obvious reasons: why should I; and why should I, again. Surely if I conduct myself and professional obligations well and were willing to take on bigger roles and responsibilities, I can say fair game. But if more and more are being plied/piled upon one, in the dirty name of Productivity and stretching, gasp, capabilities, with still only 24 hours in the making, the original efficiency would be compromised, no matter how smart or capable one is. I am tired of playing superwoman, tired of being desk-bound and growing fat from not moving and eating gloriously decadent meals as a means of rewarding Poor Me, tired of zipping to and fro in a cab for work because I have no energy to fight the MRT crowds night and day and definitely not in the mood ever to battle the sun in my Doc Martens Diva heels.

My job is not responsible for me; I am. So in 2011, I must do more for myself.


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Saw some of my oldest DHS friends during the last two days of 2010. Had a lovely lunch with Meihui and Minxiu for our annual threesome gathering (for some unfathomable reason, it has always been annual though it appears relatively easy to arrange for one, given how it was a very last minute arrangement). And I can no longer live in delusion after the heartbreaking moment of seeing how terrible I looked in the M-sized Cornell tee Meihui has surprised me with during her stint in the Ivy League school. I have ballooned, ah!

Since 2008, DBF and I have gone out on Each Last Day. This year, we had dinner in my favourite Japanese restaurant - Aoki – and I managed to down successfully two small glasses of Yebisu beer from Sapporo. It was followed by a hilarious KTV session and we had a quiet countdown at the Bak Kut Teh place within PSA vicinity. We believe this is a good omen.

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Best Friend and I decided to start 2011 in typical Chinese fashion: paying a visit to Marina Bay Sands to soak in the 人气 + 旺ness. We didn’t attend the casino but we had a good time pretending we were overseas and browsing store after store. And what’s a visit there without entering the home grounds of a celebrity chef right. DB Bistro Moderne has us feasting on healthy potato gnocchi with bean puree, balanced by the classic DB burger with foie gras and braised short ribs with flourless chocolate lava cake. Very Parisian bourgeois. We were also cam-whoring ourselves while others were requesting to be photographed with Daniel Boulud! The food was satisfactory enough to warrant the consideration of a return trip and I hope to try Cut and Caffe B next.


Best Friend and I, accessorised!


DBF and I in Aoki. Polo tee, eek.



Meihui, I and Minxiu who is in another Polo tee, eek.



nice one of the girls who are not in Polo tees, yayness!