The Depths Of Shallowness

Drowning, Drowning in Cynicism; Drunk, Drunk with Sentimentality; Down, Down with Love; Dunked, Dunked in Life. Desperate Discourse. Disposable Desires. Dusky Dreams. Delirium. Dignity. Despair. Doubt. Duty. Dewy Days. Divine Divide. Dump Everything that Bothers in The Depths of Defiance. 《我的快樂時代》唱爛 才領悟代價多高昂 不能滿足不敢停站 然後怎樣 All Rights Reserved ©Angeline Ang

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Tempestuous. Intense. Proud. Intellectual. Easily Bored. Consummate Performer. Very Chinese. Very Charming. Fair. Pale. Long, Curly, Black Hair. BA(Hons). Literature. Philosophy. Japanese. Law. Dense in Relationships. Denser in All Else. Brooding. Sceptical. Condescending. Daria Morgendorffer meets Kitiara Uth Matar meets Ally McBeal. Always dreamy, always cynical, always elusive. Struggling writer, artist and student, in that order please.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Between Chasing Cars & Waterfalls

What should be The Choice?

To invest time chasing cars safely and viciously in my head for life or squander it on chasing waterfalls instead of sticking to rivers and lakes I am used to.

I hope I find my answers in Japan. Yes, I’m running away again. Meanwhile, I’m still here, right now.

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I completed the 10km Shape run this year with a new personal best! I suspect 10km is my optimal distance at the moment. Marathons simply murder my knees. Then again, maybe I should attempt the Standard Charter half-marathon just for the heck of it.

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Hi, haven’t heard from you for quite some time. What have you been doing besides changing your picture on Facebook to tell the whole world you know Eason?


He sms-ed me last week. I think he was feeling shitty about work and suddenly thought of me. But he has to learn to live without me, which can’t be too difficult.

Just keep breathing.

Life is only miserable and boring without me, but you will survive.

亲吻失去感受 火花烧到尽头
没激情没有感情 有另一种邂逅
相爱这一场可能是为了能拥有一个好朋友
还是好朋友 比爱人长久
不能牵的手按在心头

Friday, July 18, 2008

The Heartlander Speaks

I successfully battled inertia and logic (there is no good reason you have to choose this, of all the better things you can do with your time etc) today to make a long overdue trip to the POSB bank. Having been too busy + lazy to update my POSB passbook for the past couple of years, it’s now or never, since I’m free, to get a new one once and for all. Yes, I need my passbook – I’m traditional with money in that way – documented proof is always good; and better some later than having none at all.

So pardon my utter naïve amazement after I had queued for half an hour (it’s my opinion one of life’s little miseries is visiting the bank), to learn to that I *have* to pay $15 to get a new passbook. The lady at the counter explained that I should bring along my own passbook in order to get the $15 charge waived. I explained just as reasonably and calmly that my passbook hadn’t been updated for the last two years and having the old passbook hardly helps in the grand scheme of things. And yada yada, she said it’s the rule and either I produce the old passbook or I pay the $15.

(At this point, I interrupt my own written narration to re-swear: how KNS!!! Am I the only person to feel indignation about this ridiculous charge? And why the overpriced $15? I’m sure the cost of the passbook is a pathetic fraction of this $15. For the record and to set things in perspective, I just went to the library expo sale today and bought 8 books for $16.)

So I paid up. Hell, I have no idea where the old passbook is and I’m not going to requeue. Could take another two years.

And while I’m there, I thought, well, might as well check out the internet banking. I have managed to successfully log in only once and then due to the extremely complicated process that involves two levels of identification/authentication, I have avoided it since. But just when I feel like relogging in recently, all memory of my UID and password has left me. So I tried reapplying for everything at the bank counter including the device – which is buried somewhere on my study table – for convenience’s sake, and I learnt that I *have* to pay yet another $20 for the replacement of the device.

Tell me if I’m the only person only to feel this incurred cost is unjustifiable. Here you are forcing me to use the device, and if this device is stolen, spoilt etc, I have to pay $20 to get another such device in order to proceed with my internet banking. Whee. Well, I can’t find the warranty for my device lor. Can you guarantee the duration of its functionality since I’m paying so much for it? Even the camera battery that costs $20 comes with a one year free placement guarantee. Where’s the warranty for my purchase? Why aren’t you providing any?


I finally decided to stop being a recluse as far as the normal life of 柴米油盐酱醋茶 goes, setting aside my beloved 琴棋书画诗酒花 for a while. And so to the bank I go, only to discover 世界真的变了样. I’m so through with 柴米油盐酱醋茶!!!!! GRRRRRR.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

LONG VACATION

当生活遇到瓶颈,我们做任何事都不顺利的时候,就当是老天爷恩赐给我们的悠长假期,不要操之过急。LONG VACATION, 借机重新编排人生,认识自己,拥抱生命。

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原来十几年后,重看我从前热衷的90年代经典日剧,还能带来需要的冲击性启发、感动和慰籍。

冷漠的都市里,每个人都寂寞。

当强忍的痛苦和迷惘需通过某种形式取得瓦解和释放,你要如何勇敢面对?

踏实的生活,算什么? 生命的价值如何衡量?


我还能幸福。