Being Non-Confrontational

I’ve been non-confrontational for once. There was neither indignant outburst nor quiet simmering, just a heartfelt murmur hoping that the meet-up would never come to fruition, and that I would never confess how I feel to him.

There was an series of sms exchanges on his birthday, the climactic moment being which Mr Dimples had the brilliant epiphany of arranging a threesome involving yours truly, his girlfriend and starring himself. Like seriously. He went: how about we hang out on Saturday and I introduce my girlfriend to you?

Actually, no. You don’t have to introduce your girlfriend to me. Not when we haven’t gone out for the last few months on our own to do the friendly and familiar catch-ups that good friends do. Not when I have grown used to not having you in my life. Not when we ain’t close anymore. Not when I don’t care how you spend your Saturdays, or how dreary and miserable your work-life is. Not when you have forgotten how I loathe friends who stop contact once they are attached. Not when I’m not your mum and you don’t need my approval. Not when I have to sit through your love story and pretend to be interested when all I want is to talk about myself and analyse, why, why Mr Veins is so adamant about shutting me out of his life. Not when I have to face her and make her privy to my life, my thoughts and my convictions when she is a perfect stranger. Not when going out with you is now an opportunity cost with her as an added liability.

And so in contrary to the above, I replied cheerily: Sure, let’s call YQ and ZH (who are our mutual guy friends) along. Else I might faint from excessive PDA. My RSVP is predicated on an even number turnout.

And so he set out to arrange. By Thursday, I was truly apprehensive and decided I wouldn’t go at all. YQ and ZH already knew that my absence was a given. My true alibi was Best Friend: whom I haven’t gone out with proper in years and she had been feeling poorly (ha!). So duty beckoned, and of course there was no way of meeting the girlfriend.

I’m not sure how he had felt upon learning I had chosen to go off with Best Friend. My sms was firm and to the point: Please continue without me.

Alas, he cancelled it.

If he were smart, he would never suggest such a thing again. If he were smarter, he could figure out what’s wrong, ask me out first, catch up + clear the air, and then we go and meet the girlfriend another day. Had he done so the first time round, ask me out and do our regular date thing prior to getting me to meet the girlfriend, I wouldn’t have been so affronted. What makes you think that I’m still interested in your life down to the miniscule detailing when we haven’t met at all?

Yes, I’m all for indulging in intense and intimate relationships with people I like. There’s more to life than just aimless going out, getting drunk and meandering conversations. Get lost if you are emotionally unavailable. Stop this plundering. I have nothing for you, and there's no reason for me to keep you by my side anymore.

I guess the fact that I am refusing to tell him how low he has sunk in my opinion, is a clear indication of how bottomless a pit he is dropping into.

Two Weddings & A Walk

It would be my first time seeing Mr Dimples after more than three months of absence (discounting phone calls and smses and msgs on Facebook) because of the wedding. While I din exactly take pains to look pretty, I’m glad it was a good hair day and I manage to look nice rather effortlessly in an emerald silk dress with French lace. I knew the bride had invited him and the partner, and, just in case I had to be introduced, at least, well, you know – it’s a damn girly thing to pre-empt and be somewhat prepared lah. And of course things didn’t happen that way.

*

Instead, I bumped into his buddy at the cocktail reception first and that’s when everything started accelerating to a blur. Then I saw the bride, my good friend (and one of my oldest), just a few steps away and hugged her. Then there’s Minxiu to talk to right after that. After a while, I felt a pair of eyes on me. Tilting my gaze, I saw Mr Dimples, a glass of red wine in hand, looking straight at me. He was alone. When Minxiu had to rush off for his emcee duties, it was just Mr Dimples and me. And obviously, we just picked up where we left off with nary a missed beat. I think his joy at seeing me again is quite palpable (since I’m probably the most exciting thing he has come across in his life :P). Still, I’m cautious, and relieved, when his buddy joined us very soon. But the inevitable awkward moment still popped in.

Buddy: Hey, it must have been a long time since I met you. The last time was when you, Mr Dimples, *another guy buddy* and I were supper-ing at the Hong Kong café, right. I forgot why the four of us could come together at that late hour. Amazing hor.

Mr Dimples and I: ……

Actually, I do remember, but why perpetuate the past when it’s no longer relevant to the occasion.

So I changed topic by being tempestuous and told Mr Dimples off for not calling me to offer a ride since he was attending the wedding alone. I paid $30 bucks for the cab fare and would gladly give him half of that. Something to that effect lah, and we all laughed.

Then Minchao walked over and I squealed ‘cos we were so colour-coordinated without intending. Naturally, I whipped out a camera and requested Mr Dimples to help us take a photo. Obviously, erm, I ended up having one with Mr Dimples too (I know, like WTF!)

Then someone shooed us into the ballroom. We were the earliest to be seated at side by side tables. I was at a separate table from the two and sadly, my table had no one yet. Minchao has abandoned me too as she’s the other emcee.

Mr Dimples (found to be suddenly standing behind me): Why are you standing and looking at the menu?

Me: The menu is a prop to hide my horror at the lone person at my table as I stand to survey the other people at other tables.

Mr Dimples: Come sit with us lah.

And there I remained, chatting with him, till my original table was filled with people I know.

Fast forward, at the end of the banquet, Mr Dimples made an obvious big detour to walk with me as we waited in line to offer bride and groom our last congratulations and hugs for the night. So while waiting for our turn, I wished him an early birthday which is on the coming Monday. He asked what I have for him. As his last sms to me was something on thriftiness, I continued the thread (trend?) and say he could choose from having a cheap present, a cheap meal or a cheaper present + cheaper meal combined for the overall still-cheap. He said he wanted a birthday song – and I was like ? Anyway, I said sure, whenever you are free, just let me know. And he said: Saturdays are reserved for my girlfriend, but I’m usually free on Sundays.

Well.

Well.

WelL, then we said good-bye ‘cos he’s meeting his girlfriend at Clark Quay, and I have my girlfriends to go home with.

*

My favourite conversation for the night:

Minxiu (after seeing me with Mr Dimples): Why are you not sitting with Mr Dimples?

Me: Because I want to sit with you.

Minxiu: But I wouldn’t be around that often ‘cos I’m hosting (or something like that).

Me: I will wait for you.

*a short while later*

Minxiu (while the two of us were whoring for the camera): Why are you not sitting with Mr Dimples?

Me: Because you are the one I like.

Well.

With that, I bring to a temporary closure to this entry. The other wedding and walk are TBC.