Being Non-Confrontational

I’ve been non-confrontational for once. There was neither indignant outburst nor quiet simmering, just a heartfelt murmur hoping that the meet-up would never come to fruition, and that I would never confess how I feel to him.

There was an series of sms exchanges on his birthday, the climactic moment being which Mr Dimples had the brilliant epiphany of arranging a threesome involving yours truly, his girlfriend and starring himself. Like seriously. He went: how about we hang out on Saturday and I introduce my girlfriend to you?

Actually, no. You don’t have to introduce your girlfriend to me. Not when we haven’t gone out for the last few months on our own to do the friendly and familiar catch-ups that good friends do. Not when I have grown used to not having you in my life. Not when we ain’t close anymore. Not when I don’t care how you spend your Saturdays, or how dreary and miserable your work-life is. Not when you have forgotten how I loathe friends who stop contact once they are attached. Not when I’m not your mum and you don’t need my approval. Not when I have to sit through your love story and pretend to be interested when all I want is to talk about myself and analyse, why, why Mr Veins is so adamant about shutting me out of his life. Not when I have to face her and make her privy to my life, my thoughts and my convictions when she is a perfect stranger. Not when going out with you is now an opportunity cost with her as an added liability.

And so in contrary to the above, I replied cheerily: Sure, let’s call YQ and ZH (who are our mutual guy friends) along. Else I might faint from excessive PDA. My RSVP is predicated on an even number turnout.

And so he set out to arrange. By Thursday, I was truly apprehensive and decided I wouldn’t go at all. YQ and ZH already knew that my absence was a given. My true alibi was Best Friend: whom I haven’t gone out with proper in years and she had been feeling poorly (ha!). So duty beckoned, and of course there was no way of meeting the girlfriend.

I’m not sure how he had felt upon learning I had chosen to go off with Best Friend. My sms was firm and to the point: Please continue without me.

Alas, he cancelled it.

If he were smart, he would never suggest such a thing again. If he were smarter, he could figure out what’s wrong, ask me out first, catch up + clear the air, and then we go and meet the girlfriend another day. Had he done so the first time round, ask me out and do our regular date thing prior to getting me to meet the girlfriend, I wouldn’t have been so affronted. What makes you think that I’m still interested in your life down to the miniscule detailing when we haven’t met at all?

Yes, I’m all for indulging in intense and intimate relationships with people I like. There’s more to life than just aimless going out, getting drunk and meandering conversations. Get lost if you are emotionally unavailable. Stop this plundering. I have nothing for you, and there's no reason for me to keep you by my side anymore.

I guess the fact that I am refusing to tell him how low he has sunk in my opinion, is a clear indication of how bottomless a pit he is dropping into.