He Wasn't Man Enough For Me - Updated
While he made his choice, I had also chosen. So I was able to beam with sincerity because my own happiness renders everything and everyone else insignificant. Perhaps also because I am secured in the instinctive womanly knowledge I am superior in charm and character even though we have yet to met. I am not an easy person to love and it is even less easy to be the recipient of my affections.
It is, nevertheless, interesting that for Valentine’s Day, he brought her to where I first brought him where Mr Veins first brought me.
It is also strangely upsetting that I don’t feel much at all upon learning the latest developments, despite the reasons in the first paragraph that explain why. This is what I have always feared, that my feelings are just carbon copies of what is aroused and preached by movies, songs and books. I just want to like someone and thus, it is all too transient and transferable, tangential on whom I happened to be seeing a lot of, provided I am sending and sensing The Vibes in turn, obviously.
Addendum: It must be quite obvious by now that reality takes a good day and more to sink in when it comes to yours truly, especially when the revelation was done in a manner as casual as ordering our Mac breakfasts (nothing like, erhem, the last time when something was actually said, or rather accused, and there was an embarrassing showdown in a romantic restaurant at night). A friend asked and he just said he asked before Valentine's and that was their first Valentine's. I fiddled with my fish burger and said brightly: Good for you! without looking at him. And that's it. Period. He didn't volunteer any more info about her and I only managed to sneak in a couple of general questions before I decided this was so pointless.
After exhausting myself by playing mahjong at his place till evening and meeting my other friends till past midnight (I really didn't want to have dinner with my MJ kakis - why give him the satisfaction of my company?), I tried to sleep at 2am and I was really tired out. But I woke up at 6.30am and I'm not sure what that means to Freud but I couldn't sleep anymore and I couldn't dream either.
How can a 25 year old secondary school math teacher be possibly more fascinating than me. Like seriously.
Best Friend: He is engineer, I doubt fascinating is what he wants. But seriously, so mean and dull to bring her to restaurant you brought him. And insensitive!
I hope they live boring-ly ever after.
*
Me upon seeing YQ repairing bits of the MJ table after the game -
Me: Whee, that's so macho, I like!
Mr Dimples: *yelling from the sink where he was washing the cups* Hey, I can do that too!
Me: My opinion doesn't matter, remember? You don't have to impress me anymore.
Yes, that's bitter but I was smiling and laughing when I yelled back.
YQ says that's okay cos now that I have seen Mr Dimples doing 5 pull-ups before my eyes on the very high pull up bar he had installed at home, I can forgive him for anything for that was very manly and macho.
Except he wasn't mine to forgive anymore.
I see that he has just started on guitar lessons from the newly bought guitar in his room. That should have nothing to do with me anymore, either. But damn, he had to pick up the guitar and play something even though he had had only one lesson so far. I don't know what the hell he was playing but he looked damn good in that pose on his bed with the guitar.
Okay, nothing to do with me anymore.
我不想舍得 不想懂得
是谁惹谁 言不由衷
It is, nevertheless, interesting that for Valentine’s Day, he brought her to where I first brought him where Mr Veins first brought me.
It is also strangely upsetting that I don’t feel much at all upon learning the latest developments, despite the reasons in the first paragraph that explain why. This is what I have always feared, that my feelings are just carbon copies of what is aroused and preached by movies, songs and books. I just want to like someone and thus, it is all too transient and transferable, tangential on whom I happened to be seeing a lot of, provided I am sending and sensing The Vibes in turn, obviously.
Addendum: It must be quite obvious by now that reality takes a good day and more to sink in when it comes to yours truly, especially when the revelation was done in a manner as casual as ordering our Mac breakfasts (nothing like, erhem, the last time when something was actually said, or rather accused, and there was an embarrassing showdown in a romantic restaurant at night). A friend asked and he just said he asked before Valentine's and that was their first Valentine's. I fiddled with my fish burger and said brightly: Good for you! without looking at him. And that's it. Period. He didn't volunteer any more info about her and I only managed to sneak in a couple of general questions before I decided this was so pointless.
After exhausting myself by playing mahjong at his place till evening and meeting my other friends till past midnight (I really didn't want to have dinner with my MJ kakis - why give him the satisfaction of my company?), I tried to sleep at 2am and I was really tired out. But I woke up at 6.30am and I'm not sure what that means to Freud but I couldn't sleep anymore and I couldn't dream either.
How can a 25 year old secondary school math teacher be possibly more fascinating than me. Like seriously.
Best Friend: He is engineer, I doubt fascinating is what he wants. But seriously, so mean and dull to bring her to restaurant you brought him. And insensitive!
I hope they live boring-ly ever after.
*
Me upon seeing YQ repairing bits of the MJ table after the game -
Me: Whee, that's so macho, I like!
Mr Dimples: *yelling from the sink where he was washing the cups* Hey, I can do that too!
Me: My opinion doesn't matter, remember? You don't have to impress me anymore.
Yes, that's bitter but I was smiling and laughing when I yelled back.
YQ says that's okay cos now that I have seen Mr Dimples doing 5 pull-ups before my eyes on the very high pull up bar he had installed at home, I can forgive him for anything for that was very manly and macho.
Except he wasn't mine to forgive anymore.
I see that he has just started on guitar lessons from the newly bought guitar in his room. That should have nothing to do with me anymore, either. But damn, he had to pick up the guitar and play something even though he had had only one lesson so far. I don't know what the hell he was playing but he looked damn good in that pose on his bed with the guitar.
Okay, nothing to do with me anymore.
我不想舍得 不想懂得
是谁惹谁 言不由衷
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