默读伤悲
Over lunch at Straits Kitchen, Grand Hyatt today, I peeled prawns for the first time in my life for a man after much rolling of the eyes. Context, as if it matters, was that the cook had bestowed me with 4 huge prawns when everyone else had one and one only. He was the odd person who hadn’t had the prawn(s), and would only eat them if he doesn’t have to peel. I couldn’t finish my prawns so eventually after peeling them, I left them on a plate as free for anyone. He took them all!
I was quite amazed that he ate them despite the grubby fingers that had pawed them just before.
To reciprocate, he gallantly served me all the food I professed to like and declared loudly he took everything for me and I must赏脸+领情+给面子 - I took this especially for you, you know.
Company lunches are only fun when you are politically incorrect. It was a cosy and informal setting that brought out the best in people, not unlike that of a ktv lounge, except we have replaced the smoke and drink vice with the greatest evil of them all ie food.
Talk centering self-wanking and food fetishes dominated the table.
I am stuffed. And obviously, I’m still bored.
*
I was quite stressed at work for 5 consecutive hours yesterday because I don’t have connections. Until I realized, silly, silly me, I’m not taking advantage of the fact I do know people in the inner circles who are even more connected and will be happy to provide me the necessary. So the stress has temporarily subsided. This is supposed to be The Big One for me if I Clinched It and Made It Mine.
*
How do you stop thinking about something. How do you live, when the one thing to do, is the thing beyond you. How tragic is Life when everything you do, is so to avoid thinking; doing anything about Something Else.
*
亲爱的，不停繁殖的无知一直在重蹈覆辙。一切雷同，仅巧合吗？
重复性过高的循环，我希望能抽离。
我必须宣布我的笨拙和畏缩。
我只了解自己的寂寞，其他的，我不愿置评，因为我不要再揣摩。
用庸俗和欲望去酝酿出来的胡思乱想会搅糊其中的鲜明。
我记得之前的坚强、自信和谎言。
如今，我唯有悲哀地、本能地认清无法驱逐出界的不知所措，一直都潜伏在身心。
我已无药可救。
亲爱的，我要如何抽离过去，原谅早年的振振有词，当你还是所有的梦寐以求，而其实你什么都不是。
这样的过失让我感到窘迫，因为它似乎预言了我有重复错误的迹象。
我曾犯过，所以，我有本事再使历史重现。
主角的更换不会改写故事千篇一律的无可奈何。
亲爱的，告诉我，什么是天渊之别，什么叫公平的竞争，我和他，跟我和你，能相提并论吗？
重复性过高的循环，我希望能抽离。
主角的更换不会改写故事千篇一律的无可奈何。
And eventually - 这样的他只会令我厌恶，就象我现在厌恶你一样。
It scares me, you know. That I am, still where I was, 5 years ago.
I was quite amazed that he ate them despite the grubby fingers that had pawed them just before.
To reciprocate, he gallantly served me all the food I professed to like and declared loudly he took everything for me and I must赏脸+领情+给面子 - I took this especially for you, you know.
Company lunches are only fun when you are politically incorrect. It was a cosy and informal setting that brought out the best in people, not unlike that of a ktv lounge, except we have replaced the smoke and drink vice with the greatest evil of them all ie food.
Talk centering self-wanking and food fetishes dominated the table.
I am stuffed. And obviously, I’m still bored.
*
I was quite stressed at work for 5 consecutive hours yesterday because I don’t have connections. Until I realized, silly, silly me, I’m not taking advantage of the fact I do know people in the inner circles who are even more connected and will be happy to provide me the necessary. So the stress has temporarily subsided. This is supposed to be The Big One for me if I Clinched It and Made It Mine.
*
How do you stop thinking about something. How do you live, when the one thing to do, is the thing beyond you. How tragic is Life when everything you do, is so to avoid thinking; doing anything about Something Else.
*
亲爱的，不停繁殖的无知一直在重蹈覆辙。一切雷同，仅巧合吗？
重复性过高的循环，我希望能抽离。
我必须宣布我的笨拙和畏缩。
我只了解自己的寂寞，其他的，我不愿置评，因为我不要再揣摩。
用庸俗和欲望去酝酿出来的胡思乱想会搅糊其中的鲜明。
我记得之前的坚强、自信和谎言。
如今，我唯有悲哀地、本能地认清无法驱逐出界的不知所措，一直都潜伏在身心。
我已无药可救。
亲爱的，我要如何抽离过去，原谅早年的振振有词，当你还是所有的梦寐以求，而其实你什么都不是。
这样的过失让我感到窘迫，因为它似乎预言了我有重复错误的迹象。
我曾犯过，所以，我有本事再使历史重现。
主角的更换不会改写故事千篇一律的无可奈何。
亲爱的，告诉我，什么是天渊之别，什么叫公平的竞争，我和他，跟我和你，能相提并论吗？
*
I wrote the Chinese portion in 2001. That was 5 years ago.重复性过高的循环，我希望能抽离。
主角的更换不会改写故事千篇一律的无可奈何。
And eventually - 这样的他只会令我厌恶，就象我现在厌恶你一样。
It scares me, you know. That I am, still where I was, 5 years ago.
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