Feel Your Eyeballs Sink Deep Into Your Sockets
Accomplishment: Attended 3 classes at Planet Fitness for the first time.
Attire: Modestly clad in a thin, pink Abercrombie and Fitch tee and blue Puma running pants. Because
a) Cannot find my red sports bra.
b) Reluctant to test-wear the blue furry adidas tube top as it may cut off my breathing midway.
c) Strapless bra still rules. Yes, amazingly, mine kept pace and did a decent job of keeping The Others in place. Marks and Spencers are good.
Culture (shock but expected lah): Most girls are out to bare as much skin as possible, wearing the skimpiest and tightest of clothing when doing the rounds. Hell, I feel so conservative as I carefully avert my eyes to areas more covered up, like the towel so casually tossed aside. Especially in the locker room where girls do strut openly in the nude. Ahhh, there’s a boob popping out from the towel!! It’s not safe to look at towels!! Well, excuse my unworldliness. I am Chinese.
Guys, on the other hand, are sloppily attired. I don’t see any hunks around. Well, no man with veins of a passable standard, for that matter. Quite disappointing, really. I only see short or stout men there today, and that’s really not the physique I can lust after. Many girls with great bodies (even if they have more mediocre looks). In a nutshell, guys with raging hormones must sign up for gym membership.
Review of classes –
Body Attack: I was quite uncoordinated lor. But I had my good moments. There were some steps that were very similar to the TJC mass dances (Think The Sign & Coco Jumbo) and so I like to think I execute those stylistically before I stumble again. Haha.
Cycle Challenge (known as spinning in California Fitness): I hurt down there. ‘Nuff said. Otherwise everything was do-able. Minchao said it must be I exert pressure on the wrong places ie the bulk of my weight must be on my butt. Hmmm. I would beg to differ but I need a bicycle to test the allegations first.
Body Balance, which in layman’s terminology means simply Yoga: Wah, now I can finally claim to have done yoga. Yeah. I was bad, man. Honestly, I’m quite inflexible. Look, I have difficulty reaching my toes. Yoga ain’t my thing ‘cos it’s slow and I’m impossibly impatient. Most importantly, I’m just too conscious of my consciousness, to get lost and be one with Nature. Hell, I can’t connect. During the last 5 minutes, we were practicing relaxation techniques. Which was okay ‘cos I get to lie down on the mat, close my eyes and be a corpse. Minchao, who was conducting the class, played soothing music, and said the usual (with all due respect) stuff about feeling oneself getting light, merging with the earth. So I was listening (too hard, perhaps)and doing my best to float and get airy-fairy, when she suddenly went “feel your eyeballs sinking deep into your eye sockets” in her gentle Nature tirade and I was like “WTF!?” It was all I could do not to crack up. Unfortunately, it seems I’m the only one trying to control laughing urges. The rest of yoga-ers were imminently lost to reality. WTF. I’m one disturbed individual. Why can’t I connect with Nature???
Anyway, I can’t believe I went to the gym!!! Surreal. I will probably go again next Sunday. Just so not to waste the one week complimentary pass. Hope there are more guys with veins of passable standards then.
Attire: Modestly clad in a thin, pink Abercrombie and Fitch tee and blue Puma running pants. Because
a) Cannot find my red sports bra.
b) Reluctant to test-wear the blue furry adidas tube top as it may cut off my breathing midway.
c) Strapless bra still rules. Yes, amazingly, mine kept pace and did a decent job of keeping The Others in place. Marks and Spencers are good.
Culture (shock but expected lah): Most girls are out to bare as much skin as possible, wearing the skimpiest and tightest of clothing when doing the rounds. Hell, I feel so conservative as I carefully avert my eyes to areas more covered up, like the towel so casually tossed aside. Especially in the locker room where girls do strut openly in the nude. Ahhh, there’s a boob popping out from the towel!! It’s not safe to look at towels!! Well, excuse my unworldliness. I am Chinese.
Guys, on the other hand, are sloppily attired. I don’t see any hunks around. Well, no man with veins of a passable standard, for that matter. Quite disappointing, really. I only see short or stout men there today, and that’s really not the physique I can lust after. Many girls with great bodies (even if they have more mediocre looks). In a nutshell, guys with raging hormones must sign up for gym membership.
Review of classes –
Body Attack: I was quite uncoordinated lor. But I had my good moments. There were some steps that were very similar to the TJC mass dances (Think The Sign & Coco Jumbo) and so I like to think I execute those stylistically before I stumble again. Haha.
Cycle Challenge (known as spinning in California Fitness): I hurt down there. ‘Nuff said. Otherwise everything was do-able. Minchao said it must be I exert pressure on the wrong places ie the bulk of my weight must be on my butt. Hmmm. I would beg to differ but I need a bicycle to test the allegations first.
Body Balance, which in layman’s terminology means simply Yoga: Wah, now I can finally claim to have done yoga. Yeah. I was bad, man. Honestly, I’m quite inflexible. Look, I have difficulty reaching my toes. Yoga ain’t my thing ‘cos it’s slow and I’m impossibly impatient. Most importantly, I’m just too conscious of my consciousness, to get lost and be one with Nature. Hell, I can’t connect. During the last 5 minutes, we were practicing relaxation techniques. Which was okay ‘cos I get to lie down on the mat, close my eyes and be a corpse. Minchao, who was conducting the class, played soothing music, and said the usual (with all due respect) stuff about feeling oneself getting light, merging with the earth. So I was listening (too hard, perhaps)and doing my best to float and get airy-fairy, when she suddenly went “feel your eyeballs sinking deep into your eye sockets” in her gentle Nature tirade and I was like “WTF!?” It was all I could do not to crack up. Unfortunately, it seems I’m the only one trying to control laughing urges. The rest of yoga-ers were imminently lost to reality. WTF. I’m one disturbed individual. Why can’t I connect with Nature???
Anyway, I can’t believe I went to the gym!!! Surreal. I will probably go again next Sunday. Just so not to waste the one week complimentary pass. Hope there are more guys with veins of passable standards then.
3 Comments:
Planet Fitness is because my friend is a trainer there. My company's membership is also with CFC lah. I have another to-be-redeemed one month pass for the atas Fitness First, thanks to Citibank.
Tall and slim can. Got 1.8m? Got veins? Got dimples?
Dimples were a newly added criteria, so it's some thing to look out for when the veins are in hiding. Veins and height will always be the primary. I can do a professional assessment of yours when you are in Singapore :)
Meanwhile you can draw your own conclusions first based on this description
http://thedepthsofshallowness.blogspot.com/2004/09/of-vein-hopes-veiny-obsessions-and.html
Heavens forbid. Mr Dimples is not a DPP and never will be. He buys arms and is an engineer by training.
Oh goodness, I also went "WTF?!?!" when I did a Body Balance class as well. Like, WTF?! Be One with nature? I looked around and saw everyone else relaxing or whatever, but I just closed my eyes and stared at the ceiling, wondering if I should just go out and get a head start on my shower.
Figures.
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