I hate being bonded, you know, in case you din know. I'm gradually convinced companies bond the brightest only to ruin them. I dun see a bigger picture here if there's one. Why bother to spend all that money on me just to waste my time? Another scholar from my batch has broken her bond after less than 8 months of service. She probably has to cough up half a million, which she did. Which suggests how hateful the entire situation must be for her to pay and leave.
*
Went over to the other office for a meeting today and pop by to a department in which I used to intern in 2002. There's another scholar there who started his service during my stint, though his was under that particular department, whereas mine is considered a generic one in which I can move around departments.
He remembered me and called out my name. It was a pleasant surprise. We shook hands and I was genuinely glad to see him, still like this, meaning (I'm sorry but.)that he is STILL, a marketing executive after like 3 years (His bond is for 4 years, NTU Comms grad).
It makes me feel better that I'm not the only one stuck in a dead-end situation. Sometimes, all one needs as a booster is knowledge that someone else is in a particular position TOGETHER with you. While I certainly don't relish being stuck, it is comforting that I'm not the only one held back by bureaucracy and ineffective allocation of resources. And it's coming only to my first year. What's it compared to his 3?
*
We inquired after each other. He thinks I got a good deal (ie my work after grad) and I made a face. But we din have time to go into real details for both sides of the story coz he has urgent emails to type and I have to attend a meeting. And like I said we dun really know each other that well. I think it's just the affinity that comes from knowing we are both, for better or worse, bonded haplessly. But here's a person I would meet for lunch the next time I come to this place (yes, we have said we would, anyway).
*
Work today wasn't brilliant. I don't know what they require of me. It was stated explicitly in an email for me to do this, and then after I had done the deed, it was thrown back that it was "too cheem", plus the reproach why am I doing this and wasting my time. You tell me. Din you ask me to do it? And I thought the trailers I wrote were of standard but no, one senior said too cheem. My ex-colleague liked them though. Anyhow, the whole thing is considered scrapped and crapped for me.
*
Went to visit my mum after the disheartening day. I also experienced a very vulnerable period lasting a grand 15 minutes during which I could feel water welling up (thanks to contribution from every aspect of my life) and had someone offered a kind world or physical comfort ie a strong shoulder, I would probably burst into tears. I'm rather tired of being sensible. Can someone please take care of me?
Thank goodness, such a cheesy moment flitted by quickly. But not before I did a thing I would shake my head at during saner moments. That is, sending an sms, in Chinese somemore.
我：心情不好，要不要出去？你可以选日子。
Yes, I will like to feel him near me. His quiet but anchoring presence is always assuring (no matter how he may anger me now and then) and I will be safe from all the chaos in my life. 我想他。I don't think he is aware of what's been going on but he might have guessed, given the *stubborn* conversation we had last Saturday.
他：本人为了争取执业执照，在律师楼日夜埋头苦干。但本人会设法抽空，进一步研
究适合地点，请等待消息。
Has he started lawyer-ing at a law firm already? I don't know, and I don't care. I just want to see him. It really doesn't matter where we go. But he is always so fond of the whole Let-Me-Take-You-Somewhere-You-Have-Never-Gone-Before-And-I-Will-Not-Tell-You-Where-We-Are-To-Go. It's nice, and exasperating, at times. But I suppose if this reads well as an indication of his affections and intentions (XX would probably knock my head and bellowed what is my patented line in hons years at me: ISN'T IT OBVIOUS? Well, not really? :), then I'm glad it's all happening. I do appreciate all your efforts and I will try to remember them at moments I get upset at you and have doubts about us.
*
I also smsed Kaile. Who is supposed to be back in Singapore today. Hey, if you are reading this, I repeat, pls don't go on such trips again. Don't you see a pattern here? Apparently each time you go away, something will happen to me (the last time you were away,X upset me, you weren't here, so I got to know Y and 8 months later, you know the story. Like Major Duh)and I can't get you and it's just like Ack. How come you always away when things are very happening!!!
So. Did you get me any bags? Want to read the new stuff I wrote? Technically, you owe me a treat for proof-reading the thesis but it can be offset by your reading of my works.
*
In other news of normalcy and utter frivolity dated to one week ago (stuff that got lost due to lack of time),
(1) I wrote complete my first parter. Standing at a whopping 14399 words, it's longer and better than my Hons Thesis. Beat that. Go me. Let me know if you'd like to read. It's in Chinese. Obviously.
(2) I love bumping into Jude when he is wearing his white oversized shirts. He just looks so good and his face lights up when he sees me. It's a visual turn-on and a cheap thrill at work. Like last Fri (I din wear glasses again and he was like, angeline!?), I walked past someone, and remember thinking, wow, so tall and cut such a hot figure and oh well, it turned out to be someone I do know. So we chatted for a while (even though I was running late for my movie :P) yeah, lunch, dude. I'm saving our lunch dates for really bad days. Just dun leave the company before I do, k.
(3) Someone taking the same MRT as me was the spitting image of the Korean star I lust after ie 韩在石. Nor,he's that super good-looker in Models and the currently showing 我心荡漾 on Channel U. But unfortunately,I believe this is a one-off chance encounter. The cheap thrill is, he did turn a few times to look at me and later on when he got off (at Kallang!), he brushed past (somemore it's not skin to skin kind but the tingly hair on hair type. His aiming is good) me even though there were sufficient space between us to avoid any point of contact.
It feels nice and normal to be blogging frivolous stuff. Hurray for Frivolity!
*
Went over to the other office for a meeting today and pop by to a department in which I used to intern in 2002. There's another scholar there who started his service during my stint, though his was under that particular department, whereas mine is considered a generic one in which I can move around departments.
He remembered me and called out my name. It was a pleasant surprise. We shook hands and I was genuinely glad to see him, still like this, meaning (I'm sorry but.)that he is STILL, a marketing executive after like 3 years (His bond is for 4 years, NTU Comms grad).
It makes me feel better that I'm not the only one stuck in a dead-end situation. Sometimes, all one needs as a booster is knowledge that someone else is in a particular position TOGETHER with you. While I certainly don't relish being stuck, it is comforting that I'm not the only one held back by bureaucracy and ineffective allocation of resources. And it's coming only to my first year. What's it compared to his 3?
*
We inquired after each other. He thinks I got a good deal (ie my work after grad) and I made a face. But we din have time to go into real details for both sides of the story coz he has urgent emails to type and I have to attend a meeting. And like I said we dun really know each other that well. I think it's just the affinity that comes from knowing we are both, for better or worse, bonded haplessly. But here's a person I would meet for lunch the next time I come to this place (yes, we have said we would, anyway).
*
Work today wasn't brilliant. I don't know what they require of me. It was stated explicitly in an email for me to do this, and then after I had done the deed, it was thrown back that it was "too cheem", plus the reproach why am I doing this and wasting my time. You tell me. Din you ask me to do it? And I thought the trailers I wrote were of standard but no, one senior said too cheem. My ex-colleague liked them though. Anyhow, the whole thing is considered scrapped and crapped for me.
*
Went to visit my mum after the disheartening day. I also experienced a very vulnerable period lasting a grand 15 minutes during which I could feel water welling up (thanks to contribution from every aspect of my life) and had someone offered a kind world or physical comfort ie a strong shoulder, I would probably burst into tears. I'm rather tired of being sensible. Can someone please take care of me?
Thank goodness, such a cheesy moment flitted by quickly. But not before I did a thing I would shake my head at during saner moments. That is, sending an sms, in Chinese somemore.
我：心情不好，要不要出去？你可以选日子。
Yes, I will like to feel him near me. His quiet but anchoring presence is always assuring (no matter how he may anger me now and then) and I will be safe from all the chaos in my life. 我想他。I don't think he is aware of what's been going on but he might have guessed, given the *stubborn* conversation we had last Saturday.
他：本人为了争取执业执照，在律师楼日夜埋头苦干。但本人会设法抽空，进一步研
究适合地点，请等待消息。
Has he started lawyer-ing at a law firm already? I don't know, and I don't care. I just want to see him. It really doesn't matter where we go. But he is always so fond of the whole Let-Me-Take-You-Somewhere-You-Have-Never-Gone-Before-And-I-Will-Not-Tell-You-Where-We-Are-To-Go. It's nice, and exasperating, at times. But I suppose if this reads well as an indication of his affections and intentions (XX would probably knock my head and bellowed what is my patented line in hons years at me: ISN'T IT OBVIOUS? Well, not really? :), then I'm glad it's all happening. I do appreciate all your efforts and I will try to remember them at moments I get upset at you and have doubts about us.
*
I also smsed Kaile. Who is supposed to be back in Singapore today. Hey, if you are reading this, I repeat, pls don't go on such trips again. Don't you see a pattern here? Apparently each time you go away, something will happen to me (the last time you were away,X upset me, you weren't here, so I got to know Y and 8 months later, you know the story. Like Major Duh)and I can't get you and it's just like Ack. How come you always away when things are very happening!!!
So. Did you get me any bags? Want to read the new stuff I wrote? Technically, you owe me a treat for proof-reading the thesis but it can be offset by your reading of my works.
*
In other news of normalcy and utter frivolity dated to one week ago (stuff that got lost due to lack of time),
(1) I wrote complete my first parter. Standing at a whopping 14399 words, it's longer and better than my Hons Thesis. Beat that. Go me. Let me know if you'd like to read. It's in Chinese. Obviously.
(2) I love bumping into Jude when he is wearing his white oversized shirts. He just looks so good and his face lights up when he sees me. It's a visual turn-on and a cheap thrill at work. Like last Fri (I din wear glasses again and he was like, angeline!?), I walked past someone, and remember thinking, wow, so tall and cut such a hot figure and oh well, it turned out to be someone I do know. So we chatted for a while (even though I was running late for my movie :P) yeah, lunch, dude. I'm saving our lunch dates for really bad days. Just dun leave the company before I do, k.
(3) Someone taking the same MRT as me was the spitting image of the Korean star I lust after ie 韩在石. Nor,he's that super good-looker in Models and the currently showing 我心荡漾 on Channel U. But unfortunately,I believe this is a one-off chance encounter. The cheap thrill is, he did turn a few times to look at me and later on when he got off (at Kallang!), he brushed past (somemore it's not skin to skin kind but the tingly hair on hair type. His aiming is good) me even though there were sufficient space between us to avoid any point of contact.
It feels nice and normal to be blogging frivolous stuff. Hurray for Frivolity!
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