She loved Tom very dearly, but she often wished that he cared more about her loving him.

George Eliot
The Mill on The Floss

I will buy The Bee Gees Greatest Hits album first thing tomorrow. And the collection has to have To Love Somebody, First of May and Melody Fair inside. Watching a movie (一碌蔗 or Just One Look)paying tribute to times long gone, innocence long lost with aptly inserted songs makes you want to float (or bob gently in the rustic flow), and be appreciative from a distant distance, and escaping into a past you wish you were part of when things are not so complex and would-be lovers are more upfront, decisive, and brave about expressing their affections. Looking silly, repeating cliches? No problem. And yes, dear you from my past, you will be pleasantly pleased to know that I have finally accepted that there is nothing, perhaps, more desirable or valuable than cliches. I used to take The Cliche for granted, that it is so second-nature to all; it does not warrant attention. But I realised that it is not true. But in any case, people who can't perform cliches are sad creatures, and the audience anticipating cliches from such sufferers of impotency are just, asking for it. So yes, I shall immense myself in cheesy songs that smack of oh-so-attractive cliches... and probably more buys.

I bought two pairs of shoes today to cheer myself up. There's nothing more empowering than being able to fit into something pretty that you can afford. It does wonders for spirits and soul. Actually, it's more like that's no joy that can surpass the joy of impulsive buys, considered so impulsive because you do the crazy nut thing of taking the cab in the Very Heavy Downpour to Bugis just to get The Shoes, and your girlfriend, The Book (but not so impulsive that you neglect to call up the stores to make sure the goods are there, first). We checked and we hopped onto a cab. We both feel less miserable now, now that we have transferred our emotions to objects and our desires have been easily fulfilled. Hell, we own these things now!!! Who cares if we hate it a minute later and attempt to hide it away, ashamed of The Buy? We can decide how to feel later and to deal with it; what's important is we have control over the situation at hand, in hand, literally.

There are some friends I can always count on to do crazy things (ie make exceptions willingly and spontaneously) with me. It's lovely. And we can go haywired together. Like how today, I came very close to repeating the ultimate cliched gesture of saving someone from a hapless party date via the ultimate cliched means of pretending to be someone I will never be. But it's also the existence of such friends that create expectations and standards for existing and subsequent friends. Obviously, it's quite obvious I appreciate everyone being different but here, all I'm questioning, is that when a person claiming that you matter, can't do some very simple things for you that your other close friends can, is it time to reassess the relationship or does one relent and accept the person for who he/she is.

I am quite sure watching Peter Pan tomorrow will do wonders for my mood too.

Who is the girl with the crying face looking at millions of signs?
She knows that life is a running race,
Her face shouldn't show any line.

Melody Fair won't you comb your hair? You can be beautiful too.
Melody Fair , remember you're only a woman.
Melody Fair, remember you're only a girl. Ah...

Who is the girl at the window pane, watching the rain falling down?
Melody, life isn't like the rain ; its just like a merry go round.

Melody Fair won't you comb your hair? You can be beautiful too.
Melody Fair, remember you're only a woman.
Melody Fair, remember you're only a girl. Ah...