I can't decide if you are 你, and if he is 他, or the other way round. Once I resolve that, I would feel a lot better about myself. Right now, I think I'm such a manipulative bitch that I end up confusing everyone, including myself. So it's probably a good thing I am safely by myself now. Coz I don't want to know what I want. It's scary, coz what if I can't get what I want, or if I discover I don't really want it the moment I get it. I don't want to face or live with that kind of emptiness and disappointment. I'm also The Realist, in addition to being The Sceptic and Hypocrite.

Someone once remarked I weave webs around myself and that I procure perverse delight in losing myself and refusing to know by creating illusions of chaos. And I end up screwing others too in the process.

I'd hate being too reliant on you for my happiness, that's all, you oughta know. You give no guarantees. So I do the see-saw and spread my eggs and emotions and ego evenly. So that you can't crush me with your words and gestures or make me too drunk with your company to the point of inebriation that I will be willing to commit to The Truth. I remain as sober, and you are solemn, and I hope you are happy about this. But you can't fault me for that. Eventually
you din take the risk either and our paths strayed forever. And OMG, even my references are blurring. I think you are so alike in some ways.

But I'm different. And I am only the occasional wistful that I am.

我把照片给了你 日历给了他
我把颜色给了你 风景给了他
我把距离给了你 无言给了他

我把烟花给了你 节日给了他
我把电影票给了你 我把座位给了他
我把烛光给了你 晚餐给了他
我把歌点给了你 麦克风递给他

声音给了你 画面给了他
我把情节给了你 结局给了他
我把水晶鞋给了你 十二点给了他

我把心给了你 身体给了他
情愿什么也不留下 再也没有什么牵挂
如果我还有哀伤 让风吹散它
如果我还有快乐

如果我还有哀伤 让风吹散它
如果我还有快乐 也许吧