青春无悔
I’ve been more domestic lately ever since my sis torn her knee ligament, as she is in pain and cannot move for more than 15 minutes. That kinda sucks, especially there were many things we were hoping to do together ie zipping off to IKEA for some heavy meatball and chicken wing chomping and shopping for new study room chairs.
Well, so I do the groceries and dinner-buying these days, and fell in love with the supermarkets all over again. It’s so therapeutic to examine food in all its raw and processed glory. Yes, I’m horribly reliant on my sis for day-to-day living ie she does laundry, pay the bills while I make sure the actual money is coming in, sitting somewhere, waiting impatiently to be spent. But the situation has popped up where I have to prove I’m more than just a skinny cash cow, I mean, I have to be more. So.
*
Lately, I’ve also pondered over the scary marriage and family themes. Last Friday night, Chih Yuan and I went to visit Joyance (we were from the same term NUSSU committee) who has delivered a two-week-old baby girl. We knew her husband, Abel, who also joined our club as our junior back then, and hence, it was altogether a very joyous reunion.
The baby girl was simply adorable. I was terrified when Joyance put the baby in my arms. I gulped and asked in all fearful truthfulness, what if I dropped her or something? For she was so very small, and very, very soft. For the initial contact, I was all stiff and holding the baby in the oddest way which made us impossible to be photographed. So Father Abel remould his dear baby into my arms and very soon, I was cooing away at the tiny tot and smiling winsomely at the camera. The baby kept looking at me though. Joyance said the baby liked how I look (her words were “pleasingly likeable”). Though when I showed the pictures to Mr Dimples, he insisted the baby was terrified of me (baby’s thought bubble: strange auntie holding me in a strange way!) but that’s another story.
Anyway, fast forward 15 minutes, I started to holler: Get her away from me!!! My maternal instincts are stirring!!!
Ewww. Well. Okay. I scared can.
My friends look very happy. And part of me envies this simple, ordinary life and wonders if I will ever get to live as such. Just settle down and forget about a lot of the things that I’m constantly worried about not being able to achieve and accomplish. Life can just be simple. Period. Full-stop. I just worry about my baby, about servicing the car and HDB loans, oops that’s the hubby’s job, and make sure we have great sex at least twice a week.
Abel talked about loans and how they were thinking of getting Joyance to be a full-time stay home mum instead.
Can I do it?
Was it just yesterday I was arguing with Abel about religion in the Sentosa chalet in the middle of the night in front of an amused crowd? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was abetting Joyance and the rest of the girls to scold at Chih Yuan for his procrastination and wishy-washyness at club management? It was only yesterday that we were talking about the club’s future and our own. And now, some of us are living it, while the rest are still seeking.
I think I can only wish to be simple. I’m not and I never can be, not while I’m in Singapore, at least, where it brings out my inherent competitive streak. I have to be better; I have to live better everyday; and the men I date must be progressively better than the ones before yadda yadda.
*
In a strange twist (I shall not elaborate), Abel got Chih Yuan and I to go attend Exotica performance at Gotham Penthouse@ Clark Quay. Yes, I wonder myself what am I doing with two straight guys (one single, one married) on a Monday night at 11pm watching naked men doing a Crazy Horse but without annoying lightings getting in the way of aesthetic appreciation. But I was there, and it was sleazily (referring to overall) sexy in a surreal fashion. We were stripped of our homeliness, or rather, we put on the face mask – the clubbing face and pretended we were at home, drinking, chatting about nothing and being seriously frivolous. But in true home-maker’s fashion, we left rather early. Stayed from 10.30pm to just before midnight, at most.
It was quite the pleasant surprise to find Mr Dimples’ email sitting in my inbox at home. He had sent it while he was OTing in the office at 9pm. I texted him on a whim and yups, the guy is home but still working hard to prepare some documents for the next day’s big meeting.
*
I shall fight my homely nature by going clubbing tonight. On leave for Thu and Fri to attend writing/directing workshops I have signed up in my personal capacity. Like I wrote earlier, I’m still looking for my future while trying to live it. A more daring venture there never was.
Well, so I do the groceries and dinner-buying these days, and fell in love with the supermarkets all over again. It’s so therapeutic to examine food in all its raw and processed glory. Yes, I’m horribly reliant on my sis for day-to-day living ie she does laundry, pay the bills while I make sure the actual money is coming in, sitting somewhere, waiting impatiently to be spent. But the situation has popped up where I have to prove I’m more than just a skinny cash cow, I mean, I have to be more. So.
*
Lately, I’ve also pondered over the scary marriage and family themes. Last Friday night, Chih Yuan and I went to visit Joyance (we were from the same term NUSSU committee) who has delivered a two-week-old baby girl. We knew her husband, Abel, who also joined our club as our junior back then, and hence, it was altogether a very joyous reunion.
The baby girl was simply adorable. I was terrified when Joyance put the baby in my arms. I gulped and asked in all fearful truthfulness, what if I dropped her or something? For she was so very small, and very, very soft. For the initial contact, I was all stiff and holding the baby in the oddest way which made us impossible to be photographed. So Father Abel remould his dear baby into my arms and very soon, I was cooing away at the tiny tot and smiling winsomely at the camera. The baby kept looking at me though. Joyance said the baby liked how I look (her words were “pleasingly likeable”). Though when I showed the pictures to Mr Dimples, he insisted the baby was terrified of me (baby’s thought bubble: strange auntie holding me in a strange way!) but that’s another story.
Anyway, fast forward 15 minutes, I started to holler: Get her away from me!!! My maternal instincts are stirring!!!
Ewww. Well. Okay. I scared can.
My friends look very happy. And part of me envies this simple, ordinary life and wonders if I will ever get to live as such. Just settle down and forget about a lot of the things that I’m constantly worried about not being able to achieve and accomplish. Life can just be simple. Period. Full-stop. I just worry about my baby, about servicing the car and HDB loans, oops that’s the hubby’s job, and make sure we have great sex at least twice a week.
Abel talked about loans and how they were thinking of getting Joyance to be a full-time stay home mum instead.
Can I do it?
Was it just yesterday I was arguing with Abel about religion in the Sentosa chalet in the middle of the night in front of an amused crowd? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was abetting Joyance and the rest of the girls to scold at Chih Yuan for his procrastination and wishy-washyness at club management? It was only yesterday that we were talking about the club’s future and our own. And now, some of us are living it, while the rest are still seeking.
I think I can only wish to be simple. I’m not and I never can be, not while I’m in Singapore, at least, where it brings out my inherent competitive streak. I have to be better; I have to live better everyday; and the men I date must be progressively better than the ones before yadda yadda.
*
In a strange twist (I shall not elaborate), Abel got Chih Yuan and I to go attend Exotica performance at Gotham Penthouse@ Clark Quay. Yes, I wonder myself what am I doing with two straight guys (one single, one married) on a Monday night at 11pm watching naked men doing a Crazy Horse but without annoying lightings getting in the way of aesthetic appreciation. But I was there, and it was sleazily (referring to overall) sexy in a surreal fashion. We were stripped of our homeliness, or rather, we put on the face mask – the clubbing face and pretended we were at home, drinking, chatting about nothing and being seriously frivolous. But in true home-maker’s fashion, we left rather early. Stayed from 10.30pm to just before midnight, at most.
It was quite the pleasant surprise to find Mr Dimples’ email sitting in my inbox at home. He had sent it while he was OTing in the office at 9pm. I texted him on a whim and yups, the guy is home but still working hard to prepare some documents for the next day’s big meeting.
*
I shall fight my homely nature by going clubbing tonight. On leave for Thu and Fri to attend writing/directing workshops I have signed up in my personal capacity. Like I wrote earlier, I’m still looking for my future while trying to live it. A more daring venture there never was.
1 Comments:
i have to assess the physical, material and emotional well-being of the guy first ok, before i decide.
but i dun want blah sex!!!!!
it's either great, or none at all.
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