A Matter of Privates
Last night I was privileged to be schooled in Men’s Undies 101 by the I-no-longer-stay-in-Bedok Minxiu. Now that he has moved to Boon Kheng, it’s less attractive to go out together, since I would not have anyone to accompany me back to the East and the odds are I will be cabbing home precisely because I am alone. But we did meet and so there we were, at Metro, Paragon ‘cos he took his brother’s Metro card and birthday vouchers to do a bit of private (oooh, no pun intended) shopping. We had caught a movie (Mad Hot Ballroom – made me feel like taking up dance class) just before and I also wanted to see if Metro also carried any stuff I want – hey 20% off blue tag items, why not). We ended up the longest at the Calvin Klein men's section whereby selected merchandise were up to 50% off regular prices. What I found out, according to tutor Minxiu’s personal prejudices and preferences:
Brentwood, Goldlion, Ashworth, Arnold Palmer are apparently Ah Pek’s undies, otherwise worn by guys whose mums made the purchases on their behalf.
The usual suspects like Calvin Klein, Dockers, Renoma and Levis are acceptable yuppie male undies wear.
Guys’ undies can be no less expensive the girls’ (ie on par for some) but ultimately for girls’ prices – we are still charged most exorbitantly and sky’s the limit. No men’s undies can match the price of a decently branded bra. Yuck.
I do not see what functional purpose there is in a jock strap. My teacher cannot say.
Male undies can come with buttons, at that particular area and not going all the way up either. I see no functional purpose in this design either.
Metro doesn’t carry padded undies to boost the appendage.
It does carry this strange pouch thing at $9.90. Imagine a large handphone pouch. Imagine wearing it. Yes, that’s what I saw. Wouldn’t it slip out or suffocate? Hmm.
The size of what Minxiu is strutting, under normal circumstances ( referring to undies).
There’s a brand of male undies called Great India – crystal studded some more.
I feel quite educated.
Subsequently, I bought two pairs of Everbest heels and saved $28!!! Hurray for blue tag items and the Metro card!!!
Then I took the train home. So proud of myself.
*
In another parallel world:
Me: Err…what do you think of 费玉清 ? Wanna attend his concert? On the house!!
He: I’m too shocked to answer that now… 费玉清 sounds out of my league.
Me: I have to go leh. Hmph. If you can sit through A R Rahman’s 4 hour long Indian concert and Disney On Ice with me, I don’t see how this poses an obstacle. It’s in Chinese okay.
He: All right. Go loh.
(me with thought bubble: That was easy)
Me: Thanks for agreeing. Please remember to wear those men’s cheongsam hor. I think it’s called a mapao.
He: Haha. Unfortunately my trusted pda is not with me now, cannot record down, may forget…
Me: Oh no you won’t. It’s such a big thing to attend a 费玉清 concert. You will be the envy of your elders and earn the contempt of your peers! Please be discreet. You have been warned.
He: *solemnly* I shall be.
Brentwood, Goldlion, Ashworth, Arnold Palmer are apparently Ah Pek’s undies, otherwise worn by guys whose mums made the purchases on their behalf.
The usual suspects like Calvin Klein, Dockers, Renoma and Levis are acceptable yuppie male undies wear.
Guys’ undies can be no less expensive the girls’ (ie on par for some) but ultimately for girls’ prices – we are still charged most exorbitantly and sky’s the limit. No men’s undies can match the price of a decently branded bra. Yuck.
I do not see what functional purpose there is in a jock strap. My teacher cannot say.
Male undies can come with buttons, at that particular area and not going all the way up either. I see no functional purpose in this design either.
Metro doesn’t carry padded undies to boost the appendage.
It does carry this strange pouch thing at $9.90. Imagine a large handphone pouch. Imagine wearing it. Yes, that’s what I saw. Wouldn’t it slip out or suffocate? Hmm.
The size of what Minxiu is strutting, under normal circumstances ( referring to undies).
There’s a brand of male undies called Great India – crystal studded some more.
I feel quite educated.
Subsequently, I bought two pairs of Everbest heels and saved $28!!! Hurray for blue tag items and the Metro card!!!
Then I took the train home. So proud of myself.
*
In another parallel world:
Me: Err…what do you think of 费玉清 ? Wanna attend his concert? On the house!!
He: I’m too shocked to answer that now… 费玉清 sounds out of my league.
Me: I have to go leh. Hmph. If you can sit through A R Rahman’s 4 hour long Indian concert and Disney On Ice with me, I don’t see how this poses an obstacle. It’s in Chinese okay.
He: All right. Go loh.
(me with thought bubble: That was easy)
Me: Thanks for agreeing. Please remember to wear those men’s cheongsam hor. I think it’s called a mapao.
He: Haha. Unfortunately my trusted pda is not with me now, cannot record down, may forget…
Me: Oh no you won’t. It’s such a big thing to attend a 费玉清 concert. You will be the envy of your elders and earn the contempt of your peers! Please be discreet. You have been warned.
He: *solemnly* I shall be.
8 Comments:
(Y)
how does that help in furthering my education???
(Y) for a thumbs up ... msn...no? haha you're awesome, i just read your posts and go.."wow she is a really good writer" i envy your skills
haha that actually looks like a butt in a thong, you know. hence my comment as such. really, really doesn't bear any resemblance to a thumbs-up sign at all!!
Thank you :)
what's yours? do you have a blog?
i (un)fortunately do not have a blog...
and i understand your interpretation of the "(Y)" even though that's the first time i've heard of it :P
in the context of things, i can hardly blame myself.
okay anonymous, at least leave a name.
Mike from canada, please to make your acquaintance (in need of a good dictionary.com)
Hello Mike. The pleasure is mine too. Nice of you to visit and comment. Angeline from Singapore, as you can probably glean from this blog. Online, I go by the moniker - Kitiara
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