On The SAP Theory
I’m happy to learn that you are dating again. Can you help to think through a few questions to help me refine the SAP theory?
1) What does dating mean to you? What do you do on a typical date?
2) What signals do you send a girl whom you are attracted to? How do you convey that attraction?
3) What does “making a move” mean to you? How soon would you make a move?
4) What would motivate the move, and speed up the transition from passive to active?
Quoting myself and referring to 暧昧关系 (ie existing in an unofficial and unverifiable vacuum that is neither occupied by friendship nor relationship):
Is he from a SAP background. If yes, then heed me, and flee the scene. Or you can continue to see him, but on a strictly no strings attached basis, purely for the pleasure of his company. Don’t even try to figure out his intentions or second guess. Trust me, he doesn’t know himself. He is CONFUSED & IN DENIAL. Attempting to go linear and interpret his gestures is just gonna drive you insane.
It really refers to how the SAP guy is horribly wishy-washy in acknowledging attraction and actively doing something about it, and making it head in a particular direction. It’s a very laidback kind of attitude, that puts the girl through unnecessary duress and stress. Totally avoidable.
Updated- Emphasis: and not just wishy-washy. Sometimes the SAP male can do all the boy-friendly/lover-ly things without being conferred and accepting the status of a boyfriend/lover. What is the female supposed to think here? Oh, he’s still, just a friend? Oh yes, he is!
5) Have you had 暧昧关系 with girls before? Why would you consider it 暧昧关系? Did the暧昧关系 develop or die, and why?
6) Still on暧昧关系, what would make you want to clear things up (put the party in an official category ie friend or lover)? Why would you resist making things clear? How long would you allow yourself to be in an暧昧 situation?
I shall end abruptly here. Because I’m tired and need to do some work-related research and writings. You can email me your thoughts at angeline.ang@gmail.com or leave in the comment segment. All males with SAP school histories are welcome to take this survey.
For background to The SAP Theory, read this.
1) What does dating mean to you? What do you do on a typical date?
2) What signals do you send a girl whom you are attracted to? How do you convey that attraction?
3) What does “making a move” mean to you? How soon would you make a move?
4) What would motivate the move, and speed up the transition from passive to active?
Quoting myself and referring to 暧昧关系 (ie existing in an unofficial and unverifiable vacuum that is neither occupied by friendship nor relationship):
Is he from a SAP background. If yes, then heed me, and flee the scene. Or you can continue to see him, but on a strictly no strings attached basis, purely for the pleasure of his company. Don’t even try to figure out his intentions or second guess. Trust me, he doesn’t know himself. He is CONFUSED & IN DENIAL. Attempting to go linear and interpret his gestures is just gonna drive you insane.
It really refers to how the SAP guy is horribly wishy-washy in acknowledging attraction and actively doing something about it, and making it head in a particular direction. It’s a very laidback kind of attitude, that puts the girl through unnecessary duress and stress. Totally avoidable.
Updated- Emphasis: and not just wishy-washy. Sometimes the SAP male can do all the boy-friendly/lover-ly things without being conferred and accepting the status of a boyfriend/lover. What is the female supposed to think here? Oh, he’s still, just a friend? Oh yes, he is!
5) Have you had 暧昧关系 with girls before? Why would you consider it 暧昧关系? Did the暧昧关系 develop or die, and why?
6) Still on暧昧关系, what would make you want to clear things up (put the party in an official category ie friend or lover)? Why would you resist making things clear? How long would you allow yourself to be in an暧昧 situation?
I shall end abruptly here. Because I’m tired and need to do some work-related research and writings. You can email me your thoughts at angeline.ang@gmail.com or leave in the comment segment. All males with SAP school histories are welcome to take this survey.
For background to The SAP Theory, read this.
1 Comments:
Yo, still opposed to the SAP theory--Lots of DHS guys in relationships, sort of negates the theory. And verifying the theory with YQ proves nothing--He's just trying to find excuses for his own non-committal behaviour. :P
I am going to be boring and just attribute the nonchalant behaviour of guys in general to two things:
1) Non-committal due to external factors like career, money, family, etc.
2) Non-committal due to "Is she the one?"
Some people subscribe to the philosophy that guys are more attractive when they are older and gals are like flowers and become less attractive after blooming.
So take an educated guy, SAP or non-SAP background, who is available and looking. He's thinking, "I'm educated, good career prospect, etc." He rates himself as quite attractive, and decides he does not need to be impatient and can take his time finding a special girl. Committing to a girl? Horrors, what if she's not the one? So he flirts around, non-committal all the way because he's just in the pseudo-relationship for himself to see what he wants in a partner, and who knows, he might just find "the one".
Maybe there is grain of truth to the SAP theory, given that a SAP background would imply some measure of ability that would translate to higher sense of attractiveness (of himself), but pull a random guy from an affluent background, e.g. from Shenton Way during lunch hour, and, more likely than not, he's going to be single, available, lots of female friends, and thinking ... "wait and see if the one turns up".
Oh there are other possibilities like SAP guys are less out-spoken and convey "making a move" (or what not) in more subtle ways, but that's less likely given our age... Not secondary school age anymore leh. :)
In any case, I wish you luck in finding love.
yj
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