Thoughts Of The Seismic Sort
Had I been the one, tossed and lost, who will breath my absence and brave through space and time to a foreign land to look for me? Will anyone?
Sisters don’t count. Anyway, my sis is still a big baby girl. She can’t do it on her own.
It’s sobering. And yes, with this thought firmly stuck in mind, it’s difficult to engage the tragedy meaningfully. All that keeps replaying is wistfulness of a most personal, sentimental and romantic kind, albeit most useless and helpless as well.
I can’t care because I’m too caught up in the horrific vision that if I were unlucky enough, no one will stumble along wrecked beaches calling out my name; no one will have sleepless nights; no one will actively seek for me, in short.
But someone, some people will have to do it – the looking for me part. Bugging MFA, physically flying to where I was last rumoured seen.
Some people will weep; some will carry with them a deep loss; others will never forget.
But my challenge to them is, when and if it happens? What can and will you do?
If it happens to you, well, you have your parents. That’s my point.
*
The unfortunate thought was formidably displaced by spending a lovely first day of 2005 with two of my closest friends from JC days. Despite not having met up for close to two years, we nonetheless have the best of times together.
Familiarity is mostly assuring and comforting, and not something to be contemptuous of. I do concede that when I’m neither cynical nor embarrassed enough for confessions of a most vulnerable kind.
Over escargots, calamari and marinated wings + red berry, chamomile tea @Via Mar, Esplanade, we celebrated coming together again. Took crazy photos over and over again and indulge in girlish frivolity.
And surprise! My friends also took advantage of the night out to celebrate my birthday. We haven’t been celebrating any in recent years, mostly ad hoc, and usually not. So it was really nice that we are doing this all for me. Thank you, charming ladies – Sherry and Jiahui – we have travelled the road so long, sometimes divergently alone but it’s always a pleasure knowing around that bend, we will cross paths again.
What they presented me with also reminds me I should start reading again, seriously. The hard, solid literature that I resisted touching after graduating with Lit Hons. After a hiatus of one and a half years, it’s time I return to my roots. I do miss brainy days.
*
The second day of 2005 sees me passing myself off as an 18-year old, ‘cos I’m with 2 of them. It’s seriously not as farfetched as it reads.
*
And just now, an ice-cream cake from my godsister cum friend as an early birthday gesture. Her mum will be cooking for me tomorrow night.
*
What will you do for me? What lengths will you go? Had I been the one, tossed and lost, will you breath my absence and brave through space and time to a foreign land to look for me? Will you?
Sisters don’t count. Anyway, my sis is still a big baby girl. She can’t do it on her own.
It’s sobering. And yes, with this thought firmly stuck in mind, it’s difficult to engage the tragedy meaningfully. All that keeps replaying is wistfulness of a most personal, sentimental and romantic kind, albeit most useless and helpless as well.
I can’t care because I’m too caught up in the horrific vision that if I were unlucky enough, no one will stumble along wrecked beaches calling out my name; no one will have sleepless nights; no one will actively seek for me, in short.
But someone, some people will have to do it – the looking for me part. Bugging MFA, physically flying to where I was last rumoured seen.
Some people will weep; some will carry with them a deep loss; others will never forget.
But my challenge to them is, when and if it happens? What can and will you do?
If it happens to you, well, you have your parents. That’s my point.
*
The unfortunate thought was formidably displaced by spending a lovely first day of 2005 with two of my closest friends from JC days. Despite not having met up for close to two years, we nonetheless have the best of times together.
Familiarity is mostly assuring and comforting, and not something to be contemptuous of. I do concede that when I’m neither cynical nor embarrassed enough for confessions of a most vulnerable kind.
Over escargots, calamari and marinated wings + red berry, chamomile tea @Via Mar, Esplanade, we celebrated coming together again. Took crazy photos over and over again and indulge in girlish frivolity.
And surprise! My friends also took advantage of the night out to celebrate my birthday. We haven’t been celebrating any in recent years, mostly ad hoc, and usually not. So it was really nice that we are doing this all for me. Thank you, charming ladies – Sherry and Jiahui – we have travelled the road so long, sometimes divergently alone but it’s always a pleasure knowing around that bend, we will cross paths again.
What they presented me with also reminds me I should start reading again, seriously. The hard, solid literature that I resisted touching after graduating with Lit Hons. After a hiatus of one and a half years, it’s time I return to my roots. I do miss brainy days.
*
The second day of 2005 sees me passing myself off as an 18-year old, ‘cos I’m with 2 of them. It’s seriously not as farfetched as it reads.
*
And just now, an ice-cream cake from my godsister cum friend as an early birthday gesture. Her mum will be cooking for me tomorrow night.
*
What will you do for me? What lengths will you go? Had I been the one, tossed and lost, will you breath my absence and brave through space and time to a foreign land to look for me? Will you?
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