Random Thought for the week: Which is more 幸福?
(a) to have been loved and loved in a formal manner, and in a formal (in the official okay-we-are-an-item-let-me-tell-you-and-the-whole-world-this sense)relationship that fizzled and died out; or
(b) to be in some kind of relationship (if one may call it so) that is unofficial as defined in (a), but is extended, continuous and ongoing?
I don't care so long as both parties are damn happy with each other.
Two years ago, I wrote this as part of my 文艺小小说 :
如果幸福是丝丝的难过、柔柔的缅怀、绵绵的挂念、阵阵的懊恼所综合成的长流细水，也许我早已不小心地把双足沉浸在里头。
我想，我要告诉他的是，我没爱过，不懂得那是一种怎样的美好。
他也教不会我，因为爱，对他也很陌生。
不过，我好象能碰触到幸福的轮廓。
A year later, I wrote in another piece:
亲爱的， 习惯了你的存在，我还要重新学会独立，当你离我而去时。
而我也不能过於得意忘形，让自己再度熟悉单身的悠闲舒服，只因深怕你会变得不再重要。
好不容易让你成为我无休止符的思念，我不希望你从难能可贵的铭心刻骨堕落回以往不清不白的暧昧朋友关系。
要取得并维持这样的平衡是一件多么艰辛的事。我本来就不喜欢计较。
可是为了你，我不再洒脱；我得懂的事，也突然多了起来。
我，变得柔弱，变得温柔。
我厌恶这样的我。
And then this:
亲爱的，想你是一件多么累人、吃力又不讨好的事。我真的很在乎你。可是为什么自从有了你，生活变得不可靠。
又是一天，还是一天，也是一天，日子在思念中变得异常恍惚。在永无宁日的沸腾里，一切被热切的期盼烘烤得膨膨胀长，象是很充裕、很幸福、很踏实。其实一切莫过于脆脆的、焦焦的，我知道，其中的不堪一击。
对你不再有信心，我期待定位心中荡漾的感觉。那种虚虚、浮浮、痴痴、迷迷、缥缥、缈缈的境界，我要从中苏醒。
For 2004, I haven't settled down to write any yet. But it's amazing how I don't burst from feeling so much. Must be catharsis. Long live blogs and writing genius. *smiles*
*
Double O is crap. It plays horrible music. Don't ever club there. You have been warned. I was miserable 99% of the time from 2330-0300. They cheated me of 15 bucks!!! Put on website Saturday playing retro hits and they spin techno, and house and trance, which I hate, hate, hate.
(a) to have been loved and loved in a formal manner, and in a formal (in the official okay-we-are-an-item-let-me-tell-you-and-the-whole-world-this sense)relationship that fizzled and died out; or
(b) to be in some kind of relationship (if one may call it so) that is unofficial as defined in (a), but is extended, continuous and ongoing?
I don't care so long as both parties are damn happy with each other.
Two years ago, I wrote this as part of my 文艺小小说 :
如果幸福是丝丝的难过、柔柔的缅怀、绵绵的挂念、阵阵的懊恼所综合成的长流细水，也许我早已不小心地把双足沉浸在里头。
我想，我要告诉他的是，我没爱过，不懂得那是一种怎样的美好。
他也教不会我，因为爱，对他也很陌生。
不过，我好象能碰触到幸福的轮廓。
A year later, I wrote in another piece:
亲爱的， 习惯了你的存在，我还要重新学会独立，当你离我而去时。
而我也不能过於得意忘形，让自己再度熟悉单身的悠闲舒服，只因深怕你会变得不再重要。
好不容易让你成为我无休止符的思念，我不希望你从难能可贵的铭心刻骨堕落回以往不清不白的暧昧朋友关系。
要取得并维持这样的平衡是一件多么艰辛的事。我本来就不喜欢计较。
可是为了你，我不再洒脱；我得懂的事，也突然多了起来。
我，变得柔弱，变得温柔。
我厌恶这样的我。
And then this:
亲爱的，想你是一件多么累人、吃力又不讨好的事。我真的很在乎你。可是为什么自从有了你，生活变得不可靠。
又是一天，还是一天，也是一天，日子在思念中变得异常恍惚。在永无宁日的沸腾里，一切被热切的期盼烘烤得膨膨胀长，象是很充裕、很幸福、很踏实。其实一切莫过于脆脆的、焦焦的，我知道，其中的不堪一击。
对你不再有信心，我期待定位心中荡漾的感觉。那种虚虚、浮浮、痴痴、迷迷、缥缥、缈缈的境界，我要从中苏醒。
For 2004, I haven't settled down to write any yet. But it's amazing how I don't burst from feeling so much. Must be catharsis. Long live blogs and writing genius. *smiles*
*
Double O is crap. It plays horrible music. Don't ever club there. You have been warned. I was miserable 99% of the time from 2330-0300. They cheated me of 15 bucks!!! Put on website Saturday playing retro hits and they spin techno, and house and trance, which I hate, hate, hate.
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