The Depths Of Shallowness

Drowning, Drowning in Cynicism; Drunk, Drunk with Sentimentality; Down, Down with Love; Dunked, Dunked in Life. Desperate Discourse. Disposable Desires. Dusky Dreams. Delirium. Dignity. Despair. Doubt. Duty. Dewy Days. Divine Divide. Dump Everything that Bothers in The Depths of Defiance. 《我的快樂時代》唱爛 才領悟代價多高昂 不能滿足不敢停站 然後怎樣 All Rights Reserved ©Angeline Ang

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Tempestuous. Intense. Proud. Intellectual. Easily Bored. Consummate Performer. Very Chinese. Very Charming. Fair. Pale. Long, Curly, Black Hair. BA(Hons). Literature. Philosophy. Japanese. Law. Dense in Relationships. Denser in All Else. Brooding. Sceptical. Condescending. Daria Morgendorffer meets Kitiara Uth Matar meets Ally McBeal. Always dreamy, always cynical, always elusive. Struggling writer, artist and student, in that order please.

Monday, January 04, 2010

人生有几个十年

明明知道是被世俗商业化的无聊数字游戏,不过,无功无过的顺理成章从2字头升级到3字头,进化到熟女阶段,还是会带来不安。左看右看都不象30岁的我,自认还有少女情怀的我,深刻体会时间的有限,可能来日真的没那么方长。

过去的30年,患得患失的感激和遗憾一直在交错。当梁静茹唱把失去活成一种获得,我在揣摩最后拥有的,是不是所求。强悍的自尊心,为我挡得太多太多;可能就是这样,垂手可得的简单幸福终究离也自己好远好远,总有临门一脚的感慨。有些事就是有转机的局面、有挽回的余地,我竟选择坐以待旦,非要他人他事送上门不可。毕竟洪姑娘有的是时间长期奋战,来硬的,我就是等(玩)得过你。

不过,现在,30岁后的我务必要更积极、更坦然的面对自己的梦想和人生。那些苟且偷生,口是心非的日子不能再延续。值得我放下身段的东西有好多;值得我拥有的,是我要的,就不值得等太久了。虽然好事多磨,我原有的作风也过于拖拉了。

何必跟自己过不去?亲爱的,但愿你看到我的脱变。

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

this was actually lovely to read. i toast to that :)) happy 30th best friend!

8:50 PM  
Blogger Angeline said...

Are you best friend, seriously?

My best friend doesn't quite read Chinese, unless it's on the KTV screen.

Show yourself, anonymous!

2:15 PM  
Anonymous roof said...

And even when it's on the KTV screen she often reads it wrong / stops to nudge you and say, "what is this word??" or skips the offending line entirely.

LOL yes it is me...amazingly I could read all of this, even this
(苟且偷生), which I am sure was one of the many chengyus we were forced to memorise in school!!Seems kind of harsh on yourself though but well nothing like strong words to drive us to change.

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