Bye 2008, Hello 2009

Looking back on 2008, it was the year that I blogged the least. And when I did, it was usually angsty and introspective. Yet this was the defining year that I struggled to find my footing in life, with amazing success. I also learnt to move on in so many ways. I have tried some things and failed, and discovered that it’s not me. On top of being charming and cute, I have brute will-power. What personality and determination can’t achieve, I have attributed it to external forces beyond my control and was significantly less harsh with myself. With that in mind, I managed to let go of things, of people. And I feel happier than I have ever felt before. More at peace, and that’s the really critical part. I’m learning to Live, With Myself, while learning to live better, wiser and more meaningfully.

I’m surrounded by people I love and who loved me. I have the most adorable and adoring sister. Great job, intelligent boss whom I respect and like dearly, wonderful and warm colleagues, close friends who are with me all the way, my trips with the sister to our second home: Japan, my very own 狗窝 in Singapore, beautiful dresses, accessories, bags and shoes (!), enlightened taste (!!), all the movies, concert and theatre productions I can get and so, is this as good as it gets?

Boss was asking me over coffee one day: what about love and was I seeing anyone. No, I wasn’t seeing anyone anymore. There’s no one special who asks me out (unless shopping sprees with Minxiu counts).

Is it so alarming that I’m not worrying about Love with a captalised ‘L’? Or have I truly evolved to a new state in which I’m really ready to Live and embrace Living? Maybe with the new at-peace me, I can finally attract the right kind of guys who are at least brave, smiley, and intelligent, and with veins, who have no problems telling me upfront their intent.