The Boring & Safe Weekend
I opted to have a 修身养性 weekend and stay put at home to do some long overdue domestic chores. It’s therapeutic and at least my living room is fit to hold guests now. Slowly, I will make my way to my ex-bedroom and the study room. No extreme makeovers – just clearing and chucking and categorising are enough to make the days go past fast enough. If I can see my study table again, maybe I can get more things done.
*
Nothing is triggering/has triggered this sudden thought. But it did occur to me all the same that I may actually have broken a habit and rescued my heart. It creeps up slowly, this realization, that you have grown more than used to being apart and leading very separate lives. No attachment, no involvement, just a very natural segregation and exclusion that leads inevitably to this dull point at which you don’t care, much, if he’s there and otherwise. So long as we don’t be silly and meet, we can stay this way safely. Physical distance helps, the way I never believe in long distance relationships. Besides, I have more or less figured how to do things on my own, and at least so with other people, without him coming into the picture.
*
TL: Hey. I’ll be in Kaoshiung for a day or so soon. Want anything from there? Can give any idea of what you’re preferring…like what brand and whatever you think will make it easier for me to look.
How lovely of the friend to tell me. I wrote a very simple and selective wish list for him. Bags (with zips, please), earrings (no studs, please), accessories and all in bright, cheerful colours, please. If it so completely floors you over with its does-not-fit-requirements gorgeousness, please do take the risk, break the rules and buy it on my behalf.
TL is only 19 years old and I think he’s on his way to treating a girl right. Very promising, despite having SAP roots (SAP background and explanation here) in Chinese High and Hwa Chong. Like hey, this is someone who said I looked his age! Haha, I'm sure he'll make some girl very happy one day. I just hope I don’t traumatise him too much with my teasing, and stunt his stunning development.
*
E: Babe! Get this week’s 8 Days cos it has a compiled aussie travel thingy, and a MAP too!! Hahaha. And go apply leave!
Elaine and I have started planning our trip to Australia in December. She has already applied for leave and egged me to do so most imperatively.
*
Me *out of nowhere*: Dinner at Newton tonight?
And there we were, in glorious gluttony glee, polishing off the sambal stingray and sotong, fishball/dumpling soups, satay sticks, oyster omelette and carrot cake, BBQ chicken wings and downing everything with green tea and sugarcane juice.
The evening trailed off into wee hours, as we spent hours in Party World, Chinatown to belt out song after song.
*
I am such a sucker for spontaneity. And I love bubbling people, people who bubble bubble enthusiasm and mirth. When bubbling people can’t make it a night out (very, very rare), they put it in such an engaging manner, that you feel happy and excited still, instead of being dampened by their absence. Rejection is still an art that many fail to master. Personally, an apologetic refusal or/and can’t is a must for me, if I were the party who have to be excused for good/bad reasons. I see it as good manners and a way of showing that the person still matters. Unless of course, I can’t be bothered with the person in reality. And even then, you must have pissed me off big time for me to respond so rudely.
*
Tomorrow, a night out with Best Friend. She’s too stressed to be spontaneous these days but I will always love her (she’s always well-mannered and says no very nicely in any case. I can never be upset with her for long. Plus, she understands and puts up with my nonsense whenever I get irritated). Are we going to Hong Kong at all? Elaine has booked me for mid Dec.
*
I tried this and uncovered that the erstwhile companion Shimin has deleted me. How supremely childish. It’s not like we are lovers. It’s not like I will even contact her. If you still have the cheek to read my blog – well, I hope you have eased into a stable life.
*
Nothing is triggering/has triggered this sudden thought. But it did occur to me all the same that I may actually have broken a habit and rescued my heart. It creeps up slowly, this realization, that you have grown more than used to being apart and leading very separate lives. No attachment, no involvement, just a very natural segregation and exclusion that leads inevitably to this dull point at which you don’t care, much, if he’s there and otherwise. So long as we don’t be silly and meet, we can stay this way safely. Physical distance helps, the way I never believe in long distance relationships. Besides, I have more or less figured how to do things on my own, and at least so with other people, without him coming into the picture.
*
TL: Hey. I’ll be in Kaoshiung for a day or so soon. Want anything from there? Can give any idea of what you’re preferring…like what brand and whatever you think will make it easier for me to look.
How lovely of the friend to tell me. I wrote a very simple and selective wish list for him. Bags (with zips, please), earrings (no studs, please), accessories and all in bright, cheerful colours, please. If it so completely floors you over with its does-not-fit-requirements gorgeousness, please do take the risk, break the rules and buy it on my behalf.
TL is only 19 years old and I think he’s on his way to treating a girl right. Very promising, despite having SAP roots (SAP background and explanation here) in Chinese High and Hwa Chong. Like hey, this is someone who said I looked his age! Haha, I'm sure he'll make some girl very happy one day. I just hope I don’t traumatise him too much with my teasing, and stunt his stunning development.
*
E: Babe! Get this week’s 8 Days cos it has a compiled aussie travel thingy, and a MAP too!! Hahaha. And go apply leave!
Elaine and I have started planning our trip to Australia in December. She has already applied for leave and egged me to do so most imperatively.
*
Me *out of nowhere*: Dinner at Newton tonight?
And there we were, in glorious gluttony glee, polishing off the sambal stingray and sotong, fishball/dumpling soups, satay sticks, oyster omelette and carrot cake, BBQ chicken wings and downing everything with green tea and sugarcane juice.
The evening trailed off into wee hours, as we spent hours in Party World, Chinatown to belt out song after song.
*
I am such a sucker for spontaneity. And I love bubbling people, people who bubble bubble enthusiasm and mirth. When bubbling people can’t make it a night out (very, very rare), they put it in such an engaging manner, that you feel happy and excited still, instead of being dampened by their absence. Rejection is still an art that many fail to master. Personally, an apologetic refusal or/and can’t is a must for me, if I were the party who have to be excused for good/bad reasons. I see it as good manners and a way of showing that the person still matters. Unless of course, I can’t be bothered with the person in reality. And even then, you must have pissed me off big time for me to respond so rudely.
*
Tomorrow, a night out with Best Friend. She’s too stressed to be spontaneous these days but I will always love her (she’s always well-mannered and says no very nicely in any case. I can never be upset with her for long. Plus, she understands and puts up with my nonsense whenever I get irritated). Are we going to Hong Kong at all? Elaine has booked me for mid Dec.
*
I tried this and uncovered that the erstwhile companion Shimin has deleted me. How supremely childish. It’s not like we are lovers. It’s not like I will even contact her. If you still have the cheek to read my blog – well, I hope you have eased into a stable life.
5 Comments:
"TL is only 19 years old"
That's still old enough for you to jump his bones! Maybe in that bedroom you're clearing out, yeah?
Muahaha.
that's what i was wondering :)
If nothing changes my group project will be on for e 1st two weeks of Dec. then a wedding on the 17th...when are you back from Aus?
How abt sometime in the week after 17 dec? hk, 6-7 days?
talk to you soon
ruth
mx: that's true, for importantly he feels i'm young enough hor. hahaha. no, i need to break away from the 1.8m tall lean dark and veiny typecast - he falls too neatly into the stereotype.
tl: don't freak if you happen to read this entry! :) don't be sad, don't be happy. don't be traumatised. Just. Be. Amused.
best friend: you must give me time to do laundry...around xmas?
Hi Angeline,
I took an excerpt from ur entry and pasted it in my blog. Hope you dun mind (well, i'll take it down if u mind).
Hi to the dreamy one!
Don't mind. Thanks for visiting my blog. I read yours too and I totally understand the frustrations ensuing from bizarre interviews and crazed men.
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