美丽的笨女
It seems no matter how many years go by, and despite all of life’s experiences, I still have the tendency to react instinctively in a child-like manner. That is, while portraying oneself as an oasis of calm or looking happily cherubic, as an initial response to a below-the-belt attack, I’m screaming inside that it’s not fair, feeling hurt and betrayed, incredulous and disbelieving that people can act in a ridiculous (and unjust, uncalled for, unprofessional) manner and nitpick over nothing.
I fail to defend myself as well as I should or could, because I’m stunned by such bizarre and petty behaviour. It isn’t good, or healthy, and I’m aware of it.
Ideally, my barbs and claws should be out the moment I feel I’m being short-changed and unfairly charged. But, there you go, my first reaction is that of a child.
I must overcome this sad handicap and stop being nice. The two stupid people today weren’t very nice to begin with, ganging up to fight me over trivia, and I should probably have just refuted steadily instead of being surprised at why they bothered at all.
Bloody hell.
Then again, I do realise too, if you are not really a stranger and neither am I on that close terms to you, there’re higher odds that I’d be nice to you.
Oh bother. Me and my bloody principles.
But people really shouldn’t offend me or put me on my guard in the nasty way. No need to go into details. It’s generally a bad idea to take refuge in anyone’s bad books, just that it’s especially the case, when the bad book belongs to your truly.
*
Through sheer accident, I took a picture with Mr Cute Guy At Work today. There was a photo-taking session and we make a dash to the same objects of attraction/affection at the same time. Within that split second, neither of us would budge. Truth was, we probably didn’t care and just pose, while the camera person went ‘click’. Anyhow, we subsequently took individual shots. So. The End. Because he has no veins and is less than 1.8m.
*
每一个美丽的美丽的笨女人 都需要向天祈求感情出现奇迹
未来的日子需要多少的谎言 用来欺骗自己麻醉自己
需要多少同情多少勇气
When we were in Rawa, lying on wooden planks (at the balcony) and facing the dark starry skies, I told Minxiu I would explain why he is so very single in exchange for a pound (UK dollar lar). I suppose he found it relatively useful but he hasn’t paid me yet.
At this moment, I wish someone can explain to me why I am as single. It’s beyond me!! Granted, all my just-as-great, if not greater female friends are in a similar state, but let me be about me, please, for now.
Some why-Angeline-is-single rubbish I have heard over the years:
1) You are too smart
That’s so not true. I often feel I can be more well-read and breed greater intellectual curiosity in selected subjects I already love. Currently, I read more blogs than I do classics and modern literature. It's one huge regret here. A balance should be achieved in my daily reading diet.
2) You are too outspoken
A variation of 1. It’s only partially true, but if I speak reason and sprout interesting, sexy stuff now and then, how would that make me any less charming or exciting a creature, I’d like to know.
3) Men are likely to be intimidated by you
Due to the lethal combination of 1 & 2. I’m haunted by this prediction from a teacher in university. Apparently the fact that I’m cute doesn’t help shit.
4) You have too many guy friends and hence, men can be insecure.
If the above is not utter rubbish, I don’t know what is.
5) You should make the first move
Over my dead body.
6) You should exhibit and indicate more, more signs of your potential romantic interest.
Why can’t the man do it? Can I be just friendly and cute in midst all the uncertainty he has stirred and provoked? He should declare his signifiers so that I may respond more whole-heartedly.
7) You are too picky.
I have my basic principles to adhere. And the veins + 1.8m are important, but non-conclusive, okay.
8) You are too proud. Please come down from your pedestal
Now that's 100% true in the I'd-hate-to-cheapen-myself way. The last thing I'd do is to fling myself at you, so please create situations in which 我也好下台
*
No offence, but I’m also somewhat tired of going out on one to one platonic dates and group outings in which I’m the only female. But the situation looks unlikely to change in the short term.
I’m going with 3 guys next week at the same time. Sigh. Sure, it’ll be fun of course, since all three are attractive and charming (I’m shallow enough to find pleasure in hanging out with good-lookers, I mean, being seen with good-lookers per se) and chatty. But it’s not the same as having one to myself in a special way.
所以你背起行莨 逃逃逃到远方
开始要试着独立试着重新更爱自己
有一天清晨醒来发觉不能呼吸
于是又乖乖回到他怀里
这次你下决心牺牲自己
But I shall not succumb to the temptation of jio-ing him out.
这一个美丽的美丽的笨女人 她的故事发生在每个角落里
她让我相信了自己的爱情 不能和她一样软弱无力
不能迷迷糊糊勉强自己 爱不是死心踢地就有结局
I fail to defend myself as well as I should or could, because I’m stunned by such bizarre and petty behaviour. It isn’t good, or healthy, and I’m aware of it.
Ideally, my barbs and claws should be out the moment I feel I’m being short-changed and unfairly charged. But, there you go, my first reaction is that of a child.
I must overcome this sad handicap and stop being nice. The two stupid people today weren’t very nice to begin with, ganging up to fight me over trivia, and I should probably have just refuted steadily instead of being surprised at why they bothered at all.
Bloody hell.
Then again, I do realise too, if you are not really a stranger and neither am I on that close terms to you, there’re higher odds that I’d be nice to you.
Oh bother. Me and my bloody principles.
But people really shouldn’t offend me or put me on my guard in the nasty way. No need to go into details. It’s generally a bad idea to take refuge in anyone’s bad books, just that it’s especially the case, when the bad book belongs to your truly.
*
Through sheer accident, I took a picture with Mr Cute Guy At Work today. There was a photo-taking session and we make a dash to the same objects of attraction/affection at the same time. Within that split second, neither of us would budge. Truth was, we probably didn’t care and just pose, while the camera person went ‘click’. Anyhow, we subsequently took individual shots. So. The End. Because he has no veins and is less than 1.8m.
*
每一个美丽的美丽的笨女人 都需要向天祈求感情出现奇迹
未来的日子需要多少的谎言 用来欺骗自己麻醉自己
需要多少同情多少勇气
When we were in Rawa, lying on wooden planks (at the balcony) and facing the dark starry skies, I told Minxiu I would explain why he is so very single in exchange for a pound (UK dollar lar). I suppose he found it relatively useful but he hasn’t paid me yet.
At this moment, I wish someone can explain to me why I am as single. It’s beyond me!! Granted, all my just-as-great, if not greater female friends are in a similar state, but let me be about me, please, for now.
Some why-Angeline-is-single rubbish I have heard over the years:
1) You are too smart
That’s so not true. I often feel I can be more well-read and breed greater intellectual curiosity in selected subjects I already love. Currently, I read more blogs than I do classics and modern literature. It's one huge regret here. A balance should be achieved in my daily reading diet.
2) You are too outspoken
A variation of 1. It’s only partially true, but if I speak reason and sprout interesting, sexy stuff now and then, how would that make me any less charming or exciting a creature, I’d like to know.
3) Men are likely to be intimidated by you
Due to the lethal combination of 1 & 2. I’m haunted by this prediction from a teacher in university. Apparently the fact that I’m cute doesn’t help shit.
4) You have too many guy friends and hence, men can be insecure.
If the above is not utter rubbish, I don’t know what is.
5) You should make the first move
Over my dead body.
6) You should exhibit and indicate more, more signs of your potential romantic interest.
Why can’t the man do it? Can I be just friendly and cute in midst all the uncertainty he has stirred and provoked? He should declare his signifiers so that I may respond more whole-heartedly.
7) You are too picky.
I have my basic principles to adhere. And the veins + 1.8m are important, but non-conclusive, okay.
8) You are too proud. Please come down from your pedestal
Now that's 100% true in the I'd-hate-to-cheapen-myself way. The last thing I'd do is to fling myself at you, so please create situations in which 我也好下台
*
No offence, but I’m also somewhat tired of going out on one to one platonic dates and group outings in which I’m the only female. But the situation looks unlikely to change in the short term.
I’m going with 3 guys next week at the same time. Sigh. Sure, it’ll be fun of course, since all three are attractive and charming (I’m shallow enough to find pleasure in hanging out with good-lookers, I mean, being seen with good-lookers per se) and chatty. But it’s not the same as having one to myself in a special way.
所以你背起行莨 逃逃逃到远方
开始要试着独立试着重新更爱自己
有一天清晨醒来发觉不能呼吸
于是又乖乖回到他怀里
这次你下决心牺牲自己
But I shall not succumb to the temptation of jio-ing him out.
这一个美丽的美丽的笨女人 她的故事发生在每个角落里
她让我相信了自己的爱情 不能和她一样软弱无力
不能迷迷糊糊勉强自己 爱不是死心踢地就有结局
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