I have been told I am a difficult person to understand. I dun necessarily agree with or take pride in that. People ought to think more, that's all. I merely take things a bit further to their logical conclusion or show up the loopy logic in your thought.
But sometimes, I think understanding is overrated.Even though I literally yelled at the person that I don't understand him and to stop bloody assuming he understands me, at the end of day, it's the company of someone whom I don't understand and who doesn't understand me (no matter what he claims) that I shamelessly crave. I don't want to understand him. I can forego that. I just want to be with him. We can be talking rubbish and upsetting each other, but dear me, it's fine by me. Does it mean the more we love someone, the more tolerant we are, or that standards and principles just fly out of the window ie they dun apply at all in such cases?
Nevertheless, I will like my friends to understand what I'm talking about whenever the life-is-meaningless mode is switched on (once every few months) and I get horribly depressed (in both senses) by my lack of accomplishment. In such moods, I tend to conclude that I have been shortcharged by various insane decisions I made in 1999 in the name of youthful folly that I'm paying a high price for now. In a way, if I had gone into Law instead, life now will be predictably challenging and I will be doing something that I know, that I have chosen with my eyes wide open. My status now, despite being gainfully employed, is on the edge. And this has nothing to do with being unadventurous.
With four years of my life signed away, it's four years of blank that I'm filling up slowly as I go along, which makes it quite difficult for me to plan anything or make significant changes since I have no real say in my development. So see, if I were in Law, at least all the corporate/ip law and litigation crap, I know I will be doing that. Now it's like huh, okay, thanks. And I do my best. Sometimes, I really wonder, if I hadn't signed on the dotted line, what will I be working as right at this moment? I really think the most important decisions are made at age 19.
Finally watched Monster. It's the fairytale gone horribly wrong for girls fed on a diet of love stories. But I'm a sucker for that myself. Like I once said to someone, I like to believe in something, even though I'm quite sceptical of its existence. Actually I think my exact words were: I believe in the romantic idea of it, even though I know it doesn't exist.
I need something to curb my excessive brain-ic energy. With too much time at hand due to having not-very-important-things to mull over, my brain automatically takes out my life to examine and critique. It is programmed to do so, help me!!! So I can't help but evaluate my life and be disappointed. Can we say circumstances are to blamed like they are in Monster?
I wish I had tangibles, very material, very physical manifestations of my accomplishments.
I was looking for Love, Along the way, I decided somehow Career is the perfect substitute. Now I'm still looking for both and quite tired out. I need more substitutes.
But sometimes, I think understanding is overrated.Even though I literally yelled at the person that I don't understand him and to stop bloody assuming he understands me, at the end of day, it's the company of someone whom I don't understand and who doesn't understand me (no matter what he claims) that I shamelessly crave. I don't want to understand him. I can forego that. I just want to be with him. We can be talking rubbish and upsetting each other, but dear me, it's fine by me. Does it mean the more we love someone, the more tolerant we are, or that standards and principles just fly out of the window ie they dun apply at all in such cases?
Nevertheless, I will like my friends to understand what I'm talking about whenever the life-is-meaningless mode is switched on (once every few months) and I get horribly depressed (in both senses) by my lack of accomplishment. In such moods, I tend to conclude that I have been shortcharged by various insane decisions I made in 1999 in the name of youthful folly that I'm paying a high price for now. In a way, if I had gone into Law instead, life now will be predictably challenging and I will be doing something that I know, that I have chosen with my eyes wide open. My status now, despite being gainfully employed, is on the edge. And this has nothing to do with being unadventurous.
With four years of my life signed away, it's four years of blank that I'm filling up slowly as I go along, which makes it quite difficult for me to plan anything or make significant changes since I have no real say in my development. So see, if I were in Law, at least all the corporate/ip law and litigation crap, I know I will be doing that. Now it's like huh, okay, thanks. And I do my best. Sometimes, I really wonder, if I hadn't signed on the dotted line, what will I be working as right at this moment? I really think the most important decisions are made at age 19.
Finally watched Monster. It's the fairytale gone horribly wrong for girls fed on a diet of love stories. But I'm a sucker for that myself. Like I once said to someone, I like to believe in something, even though I'm quite sceptical of its existence. Actually I think my exact words were: I believe in the romantic idea of it, even though I know it doesn't exist.
I need something to curb my excessive brain-ic energy. With too much time at hand due to having not-very-important-things to mull over, my brain automatically takes out my life to examine and critique. It is programmed to do so, help me!!! So I can't help but evaluate my life and be disappointed. Can we say circumstances are to blamed like they are in Monster?
I wish I had tangibles, very material, very physical manifestations of my accomplishments.
I was looking for Love, Along the way, I decided somehow Career is the perfect substitute. Now I'm still looking for both and quite tired out. I need more substitutes.
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