暧昧SAP关系
Now, I don’t find SAP guys, whom I do go out with, repulsive at all. Hell, no. In the looks department, people who know me, will vouch that I do value external pleasantries highly. Being 1.8m tall and having veins, are, part of the package. I am that shallow. No amount of care and concern will make me like you in a particular way if I find you physically repulsive. Actually, I won’t be seeing you at all. So the repulsive-ness would never bother me ‘cos I’m far and safe from it. Steer and stay away.
Neither do I find SAP guys stupid or silly when we are only hanging out as good platonic friends, although there can be Very Exasperating Moments. But they are mostly hilarious more than anything. Think Minxiu. Who is in Shanghai now and can’t comment.
But. When the line becomes increasingly indistinctive, when it seems a relationship is growing beyond that of the platonic, and it involves an SAP guy, usually, things get annoyingly complex.
SAP guys (I really don’t know why, but I wish they could be otherwise) are prone to being risk-averse, and/or repressed to the extent it is near to impossible to confirm how they feel towards the girl. And hypothetically, if the girl is someone like me, who does not, cannot and will not take them seriously until they actually articulate it (and that means I stand firmly by the belief and premise that we are only good platonic friends unless he specifically protests and refutes and overthrows it), no matter how “obvious” signals can be, or encouraging things may seem, I suppose we come to a very dead end. There’s only so far teasing and flirting and furtive, knowing looks can take us, which is not very far, anyway. If you need me to be explicit, I can’t, ‘cos I’m a girl. I really do think you should stop making all these subtle moves that drag on into years, and just end the game. You know, like Checkmate! Then we can go on to play monopoly, or whatever that’s more exciting instead of toeing in circles. Boring version of footsie, really.
To quote myself in an earlier entry:
SAP guys suffer from a chronic disability: They can’t sustain your interest – they can’t hold you long enough. Or even if they appear to be interesting and interested, they send out such befuddled signals that you throw in the towel and run away. Basically, they don’t play by the rules, not because they are fun and adventurous, but because they have no idea what the rules are! That is oh-so-horrible – they don’t know where to start and what to do, and just throws you off and disorientates completely with their aimlessness and lack of oomph.
Which means, I can find the SAP guy immensely appealing and attractive. And it seems we are embarking on a good thing. But the good thing never materialises because, well, because he forgets why he is playing chess in the first place? Somehow, it just doesn’t occur to him to checkmate when the going is still hot and heavy. When he finally plucks out enough guts to end the game officially, the odds are I would have left him and the game before that happens with my chess pieces still standing in cold indignation. What a waste of time. I can’t end the game, isn’t it obvious. You have to, and taking too long will just hasten my walking away from a game that’s a deadlock.
So when I wrote the following:
If I were to be critical, Mr Dimples beams way too much. It’s lethal because he’s blinding me. And he’s so towering! And so nice - so British are his well-mannered ways and sunny disposition. I don’t understand why he’s single. Must be because he was from a SAP school (mine). Even the whole scholar profile, with car, Masters from renowned UK university, very decent defense science career path and all sorts of other worthy, worldly facts can’t compensate for the sick sad SAP past. Eek.
&
Is he from a SAP background. If yes, then heed me, and flee the scene. Or you can continue to see him, but on a strictly no strings attached basis, purely for the pleasure of his company. Don’t even try to figure out his intentions or second guess. Trust me, he doesn’t know himself. He is CONFUSED & IN DENIAL. Attempting to go linear and interpret his gestures is just gonna drive you insane.
It really refers to how the SAP guy is horribly wishy-washy in acknowledging attraction and actively doing something about it, and making it head in a particular direction. It’s a very laidback kind of attitude, that puts the girl through unnecessary duress and stress. Totally avoidable.
As I was telling Lit Hons Grace over Japanese cuisine in Paragon just now, I used to have a very romantic view about such暧昧关系. That we can don’t speak about it directly, but the unspoken is understood and valued. No problem. And It really is A Sign of Trust, Faith and Devotion that we lead separate lives but keep each other closely in mind. It’s not Taking For Granted but a Test we can pass with flying colours because we are so in sync and strongly attached emotionally, that we wouldn’t have to bring it up. When the time is there, we can pick up very naturally from where we are. Of course, over the years, I take issue with the thought. And I have changed my mind. Oh, how I have changed.
For the record, I don’t find anything wrong at all with the SAP girls. I’m one myself. We are a very cool bunch.
Neither do I find SAP guys stupid or silly when we are only hanging out as good platonic friends, although there can be Very Exasperating Moments. But they are mostly hilarious more than anything. Think Minxiu. Who is in Shanghai now and can’t comment.
But. When the line becomes increasingly indistinctive, when it seems a relationship is growing beyond that of the platonic, and it involves an SAP guy, usually, things get annoyingly complex.
SAP guys (I really don’t know why, but I wish they could be otherwise) are prone to being risk-averse, and/or repressed to the extent it is near to impossible to confirm how they feel towards the girl. And hypothetically, if the girl is someone like me, who does not, cannot and will not take them seriously until they actually articulate it (and that means I stand firmly by the belief and premise that we are only good platonic friends unless he specifically protests and refutes and overthrows it), no matter how “obvious” signals can be, or encouraging things may seem, I suppose we come to a very dead end. There’s only so far teasing and flirting and furtive, knowing looks can take us, which is not very far, anyway. If you need me to be explicit, I can’t, ‘cos I’m a girl. I really do think you should stop making all these subtle moves that drag on into years, and just end the game. You know, like Checkmate! Then we can go on to play monopoly, or whatever that’s more exciting instead of toeing in circles. Boring version of footsie, really.
To quote myself in an earlier entry:
SAP guys suffer from a chronic disability: They can’t sustain your interest – they can’t hold you long enough. Or even if they appear to be interesting and interested, they send out such befuddled signals that you throw in the towel and run away. Basically, they don’t play by the rules, not because they are fun and adventurous, but because they have no idea what the rules are! That is oh-so-horrible – they don’t know where to start and what to do, and just throws you off and disorientates completely with their aimlessness and lack of oomph.
Which means, I can find the SAP guy immensely appealing and attractive. And it seems we are embarking on a good thing. But the good thing never materialises because, well, because he forgets why he is playing chess in the first place? Somehow, it just doesn’t occur to him to checkmate when the going is still hot and heavy. When he finally plucks out enough guts to end the game officially, the odds are I would have left him and the game before that happens with my chess pieces still standing in cold indignation. What a waste of time. I can’t end the game, isn’t it obvious. You have to, and taking too long will just hasten my walking away from a game that’s a deadlock.
So when I wrote the following:
If I were to be critical, Mr Dimples beams way too much. It’s lethal because he’s blinding me. And he’s so towering! And so nice - so British are his well-mannered ways and sunny disposition. I don’t understand why he’s single. Must be because he was from a SAP school (mine). Even the whole scholar profile, with car, Masters from renowned UK university, very decent defense science career path and all sorts of other worthy, worldly facts can’t compensate for the sick sad SAP past. Eek.
&
Is he from a SAP background. If yes, then heed me, and flee the scene. Or you can continue to see him, but on a strictly no strings attached basis, purely for the pleasure of his company. Don’t even try to figure out his intentions or second guess. Trust me, he doesn’t know himself. He is CONFUSED & IN DENIAL. Attempting to go linear and interpret his gestures is just gonna drive you insane.
It really refers to how the SAP guy is horribly wishy-washy in acknowledging attraction and actively doing something about it, and making it head in a particular direction. It’s a very laidback kind of attitude, that puts the girl through unnecessary duress and stress. Totally avoidable.
As I was telling Lit Hons Grace over Japanese cuisine in Paragon just now, I used to have a very romantic view about such暧昧关系. That we can don’t speak about it directly, but the unspoken is understood and valued. No problem. And It really is A Sign of Trust, Faith and Devotion that we lead separate lives but keep each other closely in mind. It’s not Taking For Granted but a Test we can pass with flying colours because we are so in sync and strongly attached emotionally, that we wouldn’t have to bring it up. When the time is there, we can pick up very naturally from where we are. Of course, over the years, I take issue with the thought. And I have changed my mind. Oh, how I have changed.
For the record, I don’t find anything wrong at all with the SAP girls. I’m one myself. We are a very cool bunch.
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