Revisiting Some Issues: Unwelcomed Thoughts
In 2003, in a quiet corner of Shenton Way, on the particular night that I was particularly miserable ~
He: Everyone has coloured, rebonded hair, is perfectly made-up and attired in standard office wear. You, on the other hand, go for the natural look. Unfortunately, natural is no longer the natural look. Artifice is natural. Everyone (who's female) is manufactured. Hence, you naturally, being in your nature to be natural, stand out in the midst of such elaboration. Simplicity just ain't fashionable anymore.
Me: I know. But I really don't want to do anything massive to myself either. I am vain and I like dressing up and pretty things, but not in the manner that the masses exemplify. I bawled at obvious make-up and I feel repressed and depressed in office wear. It could be laziness. I prefer to see it as making a statement. But I do feel miserable and lonely and very on the fringe at times. It doesn't help that I am freckled and have wavy hair and thus, naturally different from those blessed with what's fashionable.just.now. Just attempting to manage a natural state is already tough, you know. I do conform the most comfortable way I can, but draw the line at some changes, like my hair.
He: Angeline (uttered in the familiar way I so adore), you are obviously ignoring my point. Simplicity ie naturalness - just isn't fashionable anymore because everyone wants to look unnatural. To blend in, you are technically supposed to look a particular way.
Well, I hate it when I attend a function and everyone has perfectly straight and perfectly coloured hair and is perfectly made-up. Like today. I feel messy when I know I am not. It's just that other people are so ridiculously in place. When has being natural started making one so insecure? And I thought I've accepted myself. Obviously not. There are days like today.
Dwelling on that brings to mind that just on Monday, I visited The Mango Tree at East Coast. Indian restaurant. And with that, another snippet of he-me conversation floats out from nowhere.
Me: We keep going to Indian restaurants. You know what they say about people who enjoys Indian cuisine together?
He: Pray, tell.
Me: Apparently, they are only related in the most mediocre and mundane way ie only like hi-bye friends, according to this article, anyway.
He: *chuckles most disbelievingly* That.is.obviously.so.not.the.case
Well, that is obviously rather true, with the wisdom of hindsight, you know.
On stranger days, I remember, and I miss walking that stretch of Race Course Road, having the most surreal of conversations.
But I no longer need my psychoanalyst. These days, my thoughts are lighter(but no longer as nimble), cursed with a flightiness that threatens to ruin all capacity for intelligent discourse. There's no material he can work on. I'm no longer The Mystery, the complicated being to unravel. I'm unraveling, just being myself, by myself (now if that's not sad, I don't know what is). In another story, I'm run-of-the-mill very tired persona, whose sole outstanding ability is her unrelenting desire to be natural. And even that is faltering. Where will I be then? What will I be?
He: Everyone has coloured, rebonded hair, is perfectly made-up and attired in standard office wear. You, on the other hand, go for the natural look. Unfortunately, natural is no longer the natural look. Artifice is natural. Everyone (who's female) is manufactured. Hence, you naturally, being in your nature to be natural, stand out in the midst of such elaboration. Simplicity just ain't fashionable anymore.
Me: I know. But I really don't want to do anything massive to myself either. I am vain and I like dressing up and pretty things, but not in the manner that the masses exemplify. I bawled at obvious make-up and I feel repressed and depressed in office wear. It could be laziness. I prefer to see it as making a statement. But I do feel miserable and lonely and very on the fringe at times. It doesn't help that I am freckled and have wavy hair and thus, naturally different from those blessed with what's fashionable.just.now. Just attempting to manage a natural state is already tough, you know. I do conform the most comfortable way I can, but draw the line at some changes, like my hair.
He: Angeline (uttered in the familiar way I so adore), you are obviously ignoring my point. Simplicity ie naturalness - just isn't fashionable anymore because everyone wants to look unnatural. To blend in, you are technically supposed to look a particular way.
Well, I hate it when I attend a function and everyone has perfectly straight and perfectly coloured hair and is perfectly made-up. Like today. I feel messy when I know I am not. It's just that other people are so ridiculously in place. When has being natural started making one so insecure? And I thought I've accepted myself. Obviously not. There are days like today.
Dwelling on that brings to mind that just on Monday, I visited The Mango Tree at East Coast. Indian restaurant. And with that, another snippet of he-me conversation floats out from nowhere.
Me: We keep going to Indian restaurants. You know what they say about people who enjoys Indian cuisine together?
He: Pray, tell.
Me: Apparently, they are only related in the most mediocre and mundane way ie only like hi-bye friends, according to this article, anyway.
He: *chuckles most disbelievingly* That.is.obviously.so.not.the.case
Well, that is obviously rather true, with the wisdom of hindsight, you know.
On stranger days, I remember, and I miss walking that stretch of Race Course Road, having the most surreal of conversations.
But I no longer need my psychoanalyst. These days, my thoughts are lighter(but no longer as nimble), cursed with a flightiness that threatens to ruin all capacity for intelligent discourse. There's no material he can work on. I'm no longer The Mystery, the complicated being to unravel. I'm unraveling, just being myself, by myself (now if that's not sad, I don't know what is). In another story, I'm run-of-the-mill very tired persona, whose sole outstanding ability is her unrelenting desire to be natural. And even that is faltering. Where will I be then? What will I be?
1 Comments:
You are misreading it darling. No one is asking anyone to be anything. Both of us, he and I,understand that whole manufactured process to be un-naturalise, is a phenomenon peculiar to modern society. If one desires to blend in perfectly, artifice appears the way to go.
I'm articulating my occasional insecurities then (and now :)and accounting for why (hence the phenomenon. He is merely agreeing with me and expanding on that.
It's a simple discourse and nothing personal mah. I won't want to join them, but we all get the occasional pressure from society to, right? They are everywhere!!
Still, when I go to Orchard Road, I think I'm cool. It's only in very corporate situations that I go WHEEEEEEEEEE.
Post a Comment
<< Home